This weekend I received some questions from somebody named Christian.  He recently purchased my guide, but he’s still having some problems sexually… Hopefully I can steer him in the right direction.  Please find his questions below, and my answers in bold.

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Ok so here goes my history.

I was a virgin till i turned 22.  The first time I had sex it lasted almost an hour.. i wondered what i mean when people talked about premature ejaculation cuz i certaintly had no problem with that..

The fact that you lasted almost an hour should show you that any sexual problems you have are all mental, and you don’t have any physical problem whatsoever…this is good news!

The second time i had sex was when i was 23 and i lasted about 15 or so min.. but still came when i didnt want to, so i considered that premature ejaculation..

I guess you can call it premature ejaculation, but with the proper techniques, you should be able to make your lady orgasm in that amount of time.  That’s actually a pretty good amount of time to last.  Review the section on how to make a woman orgasm.

The third time i had sex was when i was 25 with my girlfriend now. She was a virgin up until 20.  She lost it new years night to me and actually i didnt go either that night cuz it hurt her so bad.. i went as slow as i can and i think she just finished me off.

You are going to have to go through a few sessions with your lady that are going to hurt her.  Both of you need to accept this, go through with it, and then things quickly get better (less pain, normal intercourse).

If you have already broken the hymen, then you may be hurting her because she is not well lubricated.  Make sure to spend time getting her wet.

Here is the problem.. unfortuanltey as embaressing as this sounds, I am 26 right now and still live at home. She is 20 yrs old and still lives at home.  You can imagine how hard it is for the both of us to find a comfortuable place to have sex. We get certian moments and we do take advantage of the situations but believe me they are rare.

This can definitely contribute to sexual problems.  You may want to work on moving out on your own, maybe even a small efficiency near your parents home, just to have your own place.  If you are rushing and putting pressure on taking advantage of the rare opportunities you have to have sex, that is the type of situation that can give you problems like sexual performance anxiety and premature ejaculation.  You need a place where you can relax, get comfortable, and learn about your sexuality, without any interference.

So i think after about the third time we had sex, i couldnt control myself and went.  THe next few times was the same problem.

You need to take control of your arousal levels.  Perform the ejaculation control exercises in the guide, and read that section a number of times.  I’ve updated the guide with some further information on ejaculation control.  I’m attaching the updated copy for you.

Often times we would have sex and i would try to hold it trying the multiple orgasm thing and nothing would come out, however it would be very hard to get hard again.

You need to practice the male multiple orgasm technique on your own first.  You need to gain a good understanding of how your body works with this technique.  You may be having a retrograde ejaculation where you are ejaculating inwards into the bladder.  This causes no problem; you urinate the semen right out.  You can actually see your urine kind of cloudy when this happens…it looks like semen is mixed in.  If you see this, then you know your problem is retrograde ejaculation.

If this is occurring, you are most likely squeezing on the PC too late.  You are cutting it off in time so that it doesn’t come out of your penis, but too late, and the semen has already began to move up the tubes.  Or you are not holding it down long enough…you need to hold it down for each orgasmic contraction.

Your penis may be a little softer than a full erection at first, but you should keep up the stimulation, and then the full erection will return, and you can continue on until the next orgasm.

Other times i would just pull out wait till i calmed down, and that didnt work either.

That doesn’t always work too well…by the time you are pulling out to stop from ejaculating, your penis is in the “red zone”, and even if you wait a minute, and put it back in, it will be very sensitive, and you will feel like ejaculating soon again.

You want to use the ejaculation control techniques to stay away from this area to begin with.  If you are already in the red zone, pull your testicles away from your body, clear your thoughts, and deep inhale, and then imagine you’re exhaling all of the sexual energy out with a slow and powerful exhalation.  This will help you gain some more time.

MY buddy says he thinks of a drumbeat, i tried to think of something else, but that doesnt work either..

Thinking of something else actually separates your mind from your body, and this split causes you to lose control.  Instead, concentrate on your levels of arousal, and keep them low.  Mind controls the ejaculation.

I even tried those pills form the doctor and that kind of worked but i hated the feelng after the next day.. it was horrible felt like i just did ecstacy or something. (it does have sertonin)

If you are talking about antidepressants (SSIs like Zoloft, Paxil, Lexapro), they have been shown to delay ejaculation.  They stimulate your body’s production of serotonin.  Lack of serotonin has been shown to be a possible cause of premature ejaculation, although ejaculation control training, and techniques like the male multiple orgasm can overcome this problem.

If you felt bad the day after, it’s because your body is not used to the drug.  You need a few weeks of taking the drug before your body balances out, so that would explain why you felt so bad.

While you may want to try this for a little while, just to “cheat”, and be able to last longer, go ahead.  But the problem is, you may become dependent on it, the drugs can become costly, and they can lower your libido and erection quality.

The best approach would be to practice the ejaculation control exercises, and if you’d like, add an SSRI like Zoloft, at a low dose, but I wouldn’t use it in the long term.

I also tried cumming first by oral than penatrating her, but i cant seem to stay hard after that.

I hate that approach…and it seems to be one of the main pieces of advice I hear about overcoming premature ejaculation.  Not only does it erase a lot of the desire to have sex with your lady, but after ejaculating you have a refractory period, which is the time period in which you can’t get an erection.

The good news is that the erection strengthening and natural penis enlargement exercises work very well to strengthen/condition your penis, and this will help you gain erections much sooner after ejaculating.  These exercises work very well at reducing, and sometimes eliminating, the refractory period all together.  You need to work on them though…

I can hold my semen in so i know i have strong pc muslcles.. but cant get that multiple orgasm going..

Once again, I think you are either squeezing the PC just a little late, or you are not holding it hard or long enough.  Keep on working on the PC muscles, and practice this technique on your own.

I have a very good relationship with my girlfriend.. everything is good but in the bed… and it leads to frustration, anger, and even arguments..

I’ve been there…it also leads to embarrassment, feelings of inadequacy, feeling like less than a man.  And it can become a vicious cycle: you have a bad performance, this leads to more anxiety and pressure the next time you perform, which leads to a worst performance, and so on and so on.  You want to stop and reverse this cycle, which you can most definitely do.

Share with your lady that you love her, and are trying your best, and things will get better.  Make sure to learn to please her in other ways.  I’m attaching my oral sex guide for you again, and also review the techniques to make a woman orgasm in my main guide.  Some of them don’t even really require regular penetration, so lasting long enough is not a problem.

Give her an orgasm first, and that will help take some of the pressure off of the situation.  Also, really consider finding a place where you can have peace and quiet together.

She still hurts when she has sex when we first start.. she keeps thinking its her but i tell her no its not, its me.. its not you at all..the reason why i know this cuz the first minute it hurts her then it starts to feel really good..

You probably are not getting her wet enough…work on turning her on for a while, spend time on foreplay…get her dripping wet before you enter, this will also help get her to orgasm faster.  You are probably entering when she is too dry.

Take your time, and enjoy the body of the beautiful woman in front of you.

Well this happened today when we were fulling around 69 and all we treid to cum together but i couldnt hold it.. the position just felt so good and i went. i continued giving oral to her until she got to about a level 7 finally i decided to put it in again but i wasnt full hard. so we go the ky and she gave me a hand job then i decided to put it in i was hard.. she hurted for the first minute and then it started to feel good.. somethiing wasnt going right cuz it felt good however when i pulled out, i was too soft to even put it in again.. what is wrong with us??

Too much pressure on the situation…I really think you need to read the guide a couple more times…sounds like a lot of performance anxiety going on.  Also, consider bringing her to orgasm through oral all the way first, then have your fun.  This will help take the pressure off the situation and ease the anxiety, which leads to all kinds of sexual complications like loss of erection, loss of ejaculation control, and also inability for the woman to orgasm…in most cases, a woman needs to be relaxed and comfortable in order to get to orgasm.

Why can’t we have good sex like everyone else? IS IT ALL MY FAULT?

You are wrong here…everyone else is not having good sex.  I run a rather small business here, and I’ve sold almost 1000 guides already, not to mention the hundreds of thousands of men who have gotten to my site by searching “how to last longer during sex”, “how to make a woman orgasm”, “how to get an erection with my new girlfriend”, “how to increase my sex drive”…and thousands of other related searches.  I can see what searches lead to my site, and there is an endless amount of men looking for this information…and those are only the searches getting to MY site.

Men all over have problems, and most don’t do anything about it.  That’s why there are so many unhappy relationships out there, many women and men just accept the sorry sex they are having.

The other day I gave my lady multiple orgasms in under 10 minutes, of only penetration…without even performing oral first on her.  With some understanding and practice of the techniques in my guide, you will do the same.

Its not your fault…you are a man, and you are learning the “ropes”.  I’ve been in your exact situation, and I came to the point where I thought I just wasn’t made to satisfy a woman.  But over the years, with all of the research and practice I’ve gotten, things have completely changed.

I read your entire book but dont understand how to relax.. i really try to everything feels natural and good.. but the feeling is so good i find myself often going from a level 2 to a 8,9,10 and then BOOM its over.

Do you exercise?  How stressed are you?  Do you have any sort of “outlet” for all of your pent up frustration and stress?  Sports, art, martial arts?

I’ve updated my guide with more info on how to relax as well, not just with sex, but overall…it involves some meditation like techniques.  As I mentioned, the updated guide is attached.  You can e-mail me any time, and I will provide you with the most updated copy I have.

This makes me really sad and i want to have good sex with my girlfriend.. because its hard for both of us.. we have sex about once a week, twice if we are both lucky… she hates the car but i tell her its our only means and then she feels very uncomfortable and doesnt want to do it.. i feel that she could be more sexual, but its hard to get her that way when we dont have a house!!!

PLEASE HELP!!

Once again, I’ve been there, things will get better when your understanding of these techniques improve, and seriously consider getting your own place…the car is SO uncomfortable.

Good luck, Christian, and relax…everything’s going to work out.

Have a good one!

-David
The Ultimate Sex Guide for Men
mistermanpower@yahoo.com

Tags: best sex guide for men, cure to premature ejaculation, how to make a woman orgasm, making women climax, overcome performance anxiety

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