How Your Mental State Affects Your Ability To Achieve An Erection

how to overcome mental EDMental state has everything to do with your erection. The number one requirement to be able to achieve an erection, is that both your body and mind are relaxed.

If you are nervous or tense, nine out of ten times you will not achieve an erection…this is called sexual performance anxiety, sexual anxiety, mental block ED, mental ED… but it’s all the same.  An inability to get hard due to nerves.

Sexual performance anxiety can become a vicious cycle, where anxiety causes a failed erection, which leads to more anxiety, which then makes it harder to get an erection the next time… and so on and so on.

The saga continues…

I’ve been there. I’ve beat it. I can help you beat it, too.

Increasing Comfort / Understanding With The Girl Of Choice- Step #1 To Overcoming Your Mental Block To Getting An Erection

In almost all cases, you need to have established at least some level of comfort with the object of your desire. At some point it might need to be just a joke, or a feeling of understanding, that will be enough for you to feel comfortable, and achieve an erection.

Humor is a great comfort builder… nothing like a good laugh to ease up.

I’ve had situations where I had difficulty achieving an erection during a first sexual encounter with somebody. This was due to not having established a comfortable connection with the girl. I was concentrating too much on my performance, and not enough on getting to know this girl on a more personable level.

However, as the emotional comfort grew between us, so did my ability to get an erection. And the more and more emotional comfort, the more and more erections (usually it takes just one good, solid sex session – and you’re cured… with that girl at least).

Although some people can have erections like clockwork, even if they know nothing about the girl (like porn actors), most of the time, you need to have some sort of mental/emotional connection to function correctly, especially if you are a anxious person by nature.

Work on getting to know the girl. Take sex out of your mind for a little while.

Don’t do this in order to be able to get hard, do it to be able to get closer to her, emotionally and mentally… as another human.  Take interest in her.

She’s fully open to you, and willing to share her body with you. Don’t be weird about it, just be natural. Us men, and women, are very much alike mentally and emotionally, the major differences between us are just our physical bodies.

Don’t Rush – Step #2 to Overcoming Mental Block ED

When you rush, this puts you in a “frantic” state of mind.

A frantic state of mind is the opposite of being comfortable… and will kill arousal.

Take your time. Do things slowly.  When you are ready to go from the transition of getting to know the girl, to actual sex, don’t act like these are two completely different events… sex is just a further extension of getting to know her.

So GET TO KNOW HER… physically!

Have fun with it. Look around her parts, examine her like you’re playing doctor, play with her parts.. with your mouth, your hands. Kiss her. She’s giving you the gift of her body.

Slowly unwrap it and play with your present!

Make Sure Your Penis is “Fortified” Before Putting On the Condom – Step #3 To Getting Past Sexual Performance Anxiety

How to stay hard when putting on a condomWhen having foreplay, and “enjoying your gift”: Once hard, make sure to provide/continue providing stimulation directly to the penis so that your erection stays hard for about 30 seconds to a minute before putting on the condom.

If you get an erection, but it’s only been a few seconds, and you rush to put on the condom, it may not have enough blood flow/circulation to STAY hard long enough to roll the condom on and begin intercourse.

Take your time, and enjoy the foreplay.  When hard, get her hand and put it on your penis, so she provides it with some strokes for this time period.

And have no fear… many men believe that they need to rush to put on the condom, because if they lose their erection, they won’t be able to get it up again…

As long as you are in a comfortable state of mind, you can lose an erection and regain it as many times as you’d like!

(Extra tip: before having sex, make sure the condom is right next to you, for ease of access, and to not switch from “being horny” to “where’s the condom”… I know this is common sense, but it helps to have it REALLY accessible).

Putting On The Condom Is Not An Arousal-Breaking Event – Step #4 To Getting Past The Mental Hurdle To Having Sex

A lot of men make the mistake of completely stopping the “flow” of action to put on the condom… as if all the arousal needs to halt.

Don’t act like putting on the condom is some major disruptive event… make an arousing act out of it.

Take your time when opening the condom wrapper, rolling it on (and if you try to roll it on, and it’s backward, don’t freak the hell out – you didn’t “fail”… just flip it over!).

Many times, while opening the condom and putting it on, I’ll get my girls hand, and put it on my testicles, and ask her to massage or squeeze them  While doing this, I look at her, and think dirty thoughts… my erection does not go ANYWHERE, and I can take plenty of time to “do what I gotta do”.

Also, when rolling down the condom, stimulate the shaft, in a pleasurable way.

Make it an arousing event!… the whole putting on of the condom.

And if you think condoms kill the pleasure, think twice… at least with a condom, you don’t have to pull out when having an orgasm, you can keep on pumping inside her DURING your orgasm (and condoms INCREASES your chances of giving her an orgasm!)

Keep Cool When Going For The Kill (Lining It Up) – Step #5 To Overcoming Mental ED

overcoming mental erectile dysfunctionNow that you have the condom on, WITHOUT RUSHING, line it up for penetration.

Many times the girl will help you line it up, or you can go it yourself (remember, it’s always slightly “lower” than you think it would be).

Stay mentally aroused during this time, and at ease.  While rushing will cause anxiety, just know that you can’t stay out of the vagina for TOO long, as it’s harder to provide the stimulation needed with your hands, or her hands, to stay hard when you have a condom on already.

But with a heavily fortified penis, and the arousal building game while putting on the condom, this should be no problem.

Once in there, enjoy the warmth of her beautiful vagina…. give it a couple of stroke to “refortify”, and then enjoy however you’d like!!

An In-Depth Guide To Achieving Harder, Longer Lasting Erections

Many men want to know how to force an erection, or how to get an erection on command.

Your erection doesn’t quite work like that.  If you try and “mentally will” your erection to get hard, it will most likely do the opposite.

In order to really “get an erection on command”, or rather, be able to fully achieve an erection when you need it, the idea is to build your mental arousal as high as possible (which works when you are COMFORTABLE), and keep your anxiety in check, in order to “lower the wall of anxiety”, and allow the flow of arousal to reach your genitals without being “blocked”.

Your erection knows what to do, just like your lungs know how to breathe… you don’t need to mentally instruct it to work.  Just give it the signal.

For a more indepth guide to achieving harder, longer lasting erections, including exercises to improve the circulation throughout your penis, and strengthen the inner “erection muscles” to their max, this will help.

You’ll also find more in-depth information to overcoming mental ED / mental block erectile dysfunction on there, as sometimes you may need a little extra help to beat this problem.

While, sexual anxiety is a pain in the ass, and can become a vicious cycle, the cycle can be reversed… and you can get your rock hard erections back.

Have a good one!!

-David Carreras aka Mr. Manpower

Mr. Manpower’s Guide to
Overall Manhood Enhancement
the ultimate sex guide for men… “male potency without drugs”

Extra resources:

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  1. KattyBlackyard says:

    Great post! I’ll subscribe right now wth my feedreader software!

  2. Thanks Katty…appreciate the support

  3. khalilulrahman says:

    hello,iam about 23 years my penis does not get hard,i think the problem is stress plz direct me. thank u

    • It most likely is. Especially at your age.

      Relax while getting horny, that’s the trick. Don’t deny the anxiety, just work through it. The erection strengthening exercises work well too.

  4. Carlos Sandos says:

    I am 17 and feel that I am already suffering from erectile dysfunction. What can I do to solve this problem?

  5. Im 25 ….. My penis will not stay hard while having sex with my girlfriend we have been together for 4 years and lately this problem.started to happen whats wrong i NEED HELP!!!

  6. Hi im 21… my penis gets soft during sex for some odd reason and it takes me forever to cum. Well I can climax fast, but only when I go hardcore with my girlfriend, I cant just casually have soft core sex and cum? why? My girlfriend has noticed this but she is not very worried but I am because I would like to cum no matter what.

    • Hey OBee… I always had the opposite issue, finishing before I’d like to. I honestly don’t know how to solve that issue, but trust me, it’s a better issue to have then premature ejaculation. Maybe masturbate real hard up until the “point of no return”, right before entering?

  7. Hi im 26… im very worried cause my penis go soft during sex with my girlfriend but its 3 times a week not all the time…she gets nervous when that happen cause normally I like to make sure she receive the pleasure before me or both a the same time…latetly she don’t get either or so…what can I do or ho I go about this..

    • Hi my friend, just take it easy. you can’t “force a boner”. get as horny as possible, and your erection will come along, it knows what to do. Look around the site, lots of good info on overcoming sexual performance anxiety

  8. GOOD article.. especially the part where you say”

    “Many men want to know how to force an erection, or how to get an erection on command.
    Your erection doesn’t quite work like that. If you try and “mentally will” your erection to get hard, it will most likely do the opposite.”

    This is TRUE…Its almost as tho you have to “ease” into an erection..You can NOT force it.OR “mentally will it to get up at the drop of a hat..
    Problem is : Like you alluded to:
    If its a NEW Girl that you just met at the club tonight–and havent been with before and have NOT spent
    prior time OUTSIDE of the bedroom with(like restaurants and shopping, etc, etc,.
    .This can sometimes prove a daunting Task..Especially if you feel this “New Girl” is judging and grading your performance…Which she
    is “grading you” because she hasnt even known you, for 24 hours!..

    I think the ONLY solution to this is to not Fuck this “judgmental” girl on the very First date..
    Unless your super, super, horny for her (like to the point of wanting to rip her clothes off)
    ….Otherwise,If your not super horny—-Good advice would be to– Put this judgemental chick on HOLD
    for awhile.Screw her on the 2nd or third date….OR…”Mr. Softy” could rear his ugly head…and the BOTH of you will be embarrassed..

  9. Hello, I am 27 yr old, I have a girlfriend with whom I have been for 5 months now, But, our relationship is long distance, so we have met 4 times so far. I have tried to have sex with her 8-10 times, but only about 2-3 times I was able to insert into her. I can get hard when we are doing foreplay but as soon as I try to enter her vagina it gets soft, I don’t know why? Also, when after putting condom it tends to go soft.

    I am little scared always, since she had couple of relationships before, but she is very beautiful and I love her very much.
    PS. I used to watch lot of porn before & used to masturbate 2-3 times everyday. Also, I do get morning erections almost everyday if I have good sleep.

    PLEASE HELP, me on how to keep sustaining erection so I can have better sex with her.

    Thank you,


    • How goes, Yuzi. Have confidence in your erection, being that you wake up with morning wood. It works.

      Just concentrate on getting as mentally aroused as possible aka try and use her body to get super horny.

      Get her hand, and place it on your testicles or penis. This will provide a jolt of “electricity” to your parts, that your own hand can’t do. Play with her body, suck her tits, etc. while she plays with your parts. If you have a semi erection, slap it against her leg a couple times till it becomes fully hard.

      Take your time when opening and putting on the condom (ask to keep stimulating you while you do this), and keep your mental arousal high during this time.

      My guide to erection strengthening exercises will greatly help you overcome this mental block to getting an erection, as well as provide you with erections that will stay hard longer. Feel free to take a look around the blog as well for more free tips.

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