Beyond Kegels: How the Pelvic Floor Leads to Better Sexual Health

Pelvic Floor Muscles and Sexual Health

Sexual health preoccupies all of us, especially as we get older. A quick internet search will tell you all about kegels and how men should do them to get stronger “down below.” Muscles commonly known as the PC (pubococcygeus) and BC (bulbocavernosus) can get a workout using kegels to make erections stronger, help you last longer during sex, and have more pleasurable orgasms. Sounds amazing!

However, many men aren’t doing their kegels right. They and their pelvic floors could be in for a rude awakening.

Do NOT do kegels without reading this guide first. This is your walkthrough of the pelvic floor, kegeling, and how to improve your sexual health. Kegels aren’t just for women anymore. But you still have to do them correctly.

A Pelvic Floor Crash Course

Your pelvic floor is like a “hammock” of soft muscles slung under your seat. There are a lot of them (we’re not going through them all here). Just know that like any muscle, the pelvic floor can be strengthened through a “workout.”

However, unlike your biceps, quads, or pecs, the pelvic floor is never “off.” If it ever totally relaxed, we’d wet every pair of pants we own; sex would last .01 seconds and we’d have no orgasm. We wouldn’t be able to control anything down there.

This means that since the muscles are never truly relaxed, they also never recover from a workout like other muscles do.

Imagine doing a bicep curl. You can feel the burn in your muscle, the arousing tingle of muscle fibers breaking down so that they can be rebuilt beefier and more beautiful. When you give your bicep a day to rest, you know that you’ll have a stronger bicep as a result.

Now imagine doing a bicep curl and holding it for 45 years. You can’t expect your bicep to get bigger and stronger if it never rests. It will just tire out, hurt, and probably stop working. What does this have to do with the pelvic floor? When men get it in their heads to start kegeling for strength, it has everything to do with it.

Kegels: The Infinite Pelvic Floor Curl

How to Strengthen the Pelvic Floor Muscles

Kegels are a common prescription for postpartum women to strengthen their pelvic floors after the trauma of childbirth. Today, however, both men and women can easily find advice on why they should do kegels regularly for sexual health. The online kegeling guides all say the same thing. Here’s an excerpt from the Mayo Clinic:

“Tighten your pelvic floor muscles, hold the contraction for three seconds, and then relax for three seconds. Try it a few times in a row. When your muscles get stronger, try doing Kegel exercises while sitting, standing or walking … Repeat 3 times a day. Aim for at least three sets of 10 repetitions a day.”

This is sound advice for how to perform kegels, but only for people with very specific conditions, such as those who have had their prostate removed. For most normal men who just want to improve their sexual health, this advice can lead to disaster without some essential extra information.

For most men, a kegel routine includes squeezing to find the muscles and then repeatedly flexing and contracting them until they feel tired. Like the Mayo Clinic says, you can hold it for three seconds, ten times a day. That’s thirty seconds a day that your pelvic floor is held in a screaming corkscrew of sustained contraction. Here’s the problem with that (there are two).

The first problem is that you have to give muscles time to relax. But again, the pelvic floor doesn’t relax like normal muscles do – it has to remain contracted to protect our pant seats and orgasms. Without consciously relaxing the pelvic floor, kegels can increase tension down there without building any strength. This is where the second problem comes in.

Many sites like the Mayo Clinic and even many doctors don’t understand the difference between a tight pelvic floor and a strong one. Pelvic anatomy and health is relatively new because humans didn’t have nearly as many problems with it in the past. Why not?

The pelvic floor muscles are all connected to the muscles in your back and legs like your hamstrings and adductors and hip flexors (oh my). The more civilized we are, the more we sit. And the more we sit, the more those muscles shorten and become restricted. This creates more tension that gets loaded onto our pelvic floors.

So what do we do? We kegel, kegel, kegel. Three seconds, ten times a day, maybe even more because we want results. A results-driven mindset makes kegels dangerous. Lacking the knowledge of how to relax those muscles can cause kegels to do more harm to many men (and women) than good. They achieve the opposite of the results they wanted.

Beyond Kegels: How to REALLY Work Out Your Sex Muscles

If all you do is contract muscles that are already contracted by nature, you can cause them to develop tension, to become shorter, or even to go into spasm. This will lead to more difficulty maintaining erections, less pleasure, and less control. In the pursuit of sexual health, many men give themselves sexual hindrances. And they may not even know they’re doing it.

The truth about kegels is that most of us don’t have pelvic floors that are too relaxed or weak unless we’re very old, have continence issues, or have had our prostate removed. Most men need a pelvic floor that’s stronger, but all they’re doing is making it tighter. Which leads to weakness, dysfunction, and even pain.

Here’s what to do instead.

After you’ve figured out which muscles are the pelvic floor, deeply breathe into your belly. This will make the muscles “push” out and down, sort of like passing gas. Don’t push too hard. Especially if you do a few kegels during the day, which is okay if you don’t overdo them, this is how you can help those muscles relax. 

Perform this breath in a squat as well. Proper squats reinforce the muscles that give your pelvic floor its strength, especially the glutes. They’re your best friend if you want to work out your sex muscles for better performance in bed.

Realize that the pelvic floor is connected directly to nervous system functions, which is a fancy way of saying that it tightens automatically when you’re stressed and can be consciously controlled when you’re relaxed. You know how a dog pulls its tail between its legs? That’s what you’re doing for most of the day and it makes you weaker down there.

To undo this pattern, seek help for your stress issues, especially related to sex. Talk with your partner about your misgivings and give yourself some slack. Many men have the world on their shoulders when it comes to their partner’s pleasure. But the odds are that your partner is much more understanding about it than you are with yourself.

The Takeaway for Men Looking to Improve Their Overall Sexual Health

For many men, sexual health is a problem they want to “fix.” Results-driven thinking leads them to research blogs and even reputable medical sites with a goal in mind. With incomplete information, they begin squeezing the living hell from their pelvic floors, praying that it will make their erections stronger. They may achieve the opposite.

For these muscles, tight means weak and relaxed means strong. Imagine a hinge that’s screwed in so tight it looks like it’s about to break and approaching the problem by finding new ways to make it even tighter. All the sitting, stressing, and clenching you do literally holds these muscles back from their true potential.

Letting go of that tension, breathing deeply, and doing squats can give you the strength you need. Resisting the urge to power through spasms of delicate muscles in the hopes of more stamina in bed will be the best “kegel” you’ve ever done.

For more information on directly strengthening the PC muscles for sexual health, see here:

Have a good one!

-David Carreras aka Mr. Manpower
Mr. Manpower’s Guide to
Overall Manhood Enhancement

the ultimate sex guide for men… “male potency without drugs”

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How Masturbation Increases Sex Drive

masturbation increase sex drive

Men of all ages often wonder if masturbation increases sex drive, or does it actually harm it? We’ve done some research here in order to get to the bottom of the age-old question, and we’ve found that masturbation helps — rather than hurts — your sex drive, and for all the following reasons.

What Masturbation Actually Does To Our Body, and How That Affects Our Sex Drive

Since our early adolescence, we’ve all learned that masturbating makes us feel good, eliminates the “horniness”, and usually leaves us tired.

Masturbating actually has several effects on your body. One of the biggest is the release of a several hormones from your endocrine system, including oxytocin, the “love hormone” that is also released during cuddling or sex. Yes, oxytocin relaxes you—it lowers your heart rate and blood pressure, but it also lowers cortisol, the stress hormone… and cortisol has an inverse relationship with testosterone… meaning the lower cortisol, the higher the testosterone… and testosterone improves sex drive, so in this way masturbation boosts sex drive in the long run.

Masturbating also release endorphins, the same hormones released after exercise. You may not get runner’s high after masturbating, but you’ll likely have an improved mood, just like after a good workout. These endorphins are also conducive to increased focus and concentration, which is why many people opt to work out, or get it on, in the morning before the workday.

How Does Masturbation Affect Testosterone?

One study analyzed the concentrations of hormones, including testosterone, before and after masturbation. They found that masturbating significantly boosted testosterone, along with several other hormones important to the male sex drive. To be fair, masturbation is not the only thing that does this: certain foods, Vitamin D, and exercise can all raise your testosterone levels. However, knowledge is power, and the combination of masturbation along with exercising and Vitamin D supplementation can only improve your sex drive further.

As to further proof that testosterone increases sex drive, in this 2016 study, researchers looked at about 715 guys who were producing lower-than-normal levels of testosterone. They injected them with a solution of testosterone, and then examined their energy levels and sex drive. The results showed that testosterone significantly increased their sex drive.

Note: Too much of anything is a bad thing, though! Before considering anything like testosterone replacement therapy to increase testosterone production, know that having higher than average testosterone production has been shown to correlate with excessive aggression and risk-taking behavior. Some studies have shown that higher levels of testosterone may be linked to higher rates of criminal behavior, infidelity and divorce, and reckless financial decisions

Masturbation Helps You Exercise Your “Freaky Side”, and Keeps You “Ready”

All of us have a sex muscle that we can work out (not talking about our penis, mean more the mental aspect of our sex drive). The more we accustom ourselves to becoming aroused and ejaculating, the more our mind craves that state and satisfaction. Masturbating increases sex drive by keeping us both mentally and physically ready for sexual stimulation.

Masturbation Increases Sex Drive – So Don’t Hold Back!

masturbation increases sex drive

Taking all of these studies and observations into consideration, you can see that while there may be an initial satiety and fatigue following masturbation, the longer term affects of increasing your testosterone production and exploring more about what turns you on is how masturbation increases sex drive. 

Unless you have severe guilt towards masturbating and self-pleasure — which can occur in more religiously-raised men (and if it is the case, you should examine this false guilt and attempt to move past it) — you should not feel about about exercising this option for increasing sex drive.

All in all, masturbation has been found to be quite healthy, and there’s no harm in seeing for yourself how masturbation affects your sex drive over time…

…As if we needed another excuse to masturbate 😉 

For more ways to naturally increase your sex drive, as well as achieve stronger erections, last-longer during sex and more, see here! Mr. Manpower’s Guide to Overall Manhood Enhancement

Have a good one!

-David Carreras aka Mr. Manpower
Mr. Manpower’s Guide to
Overall Manhood Enhancement

[email protected]

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How to Get An Erection When Nervous Before Sex

How to get an erection when nervous

All of us get nervous before sex… men and women alike.

Difference for women, though, is that they can get nervous and it’s no big deal. What’s the worst that happens; they don’t get wet? Synthetic lubricant will take care of that, or the lubrication on a condom.

On the other hand, as men, if we get overly nervous before sex, then we can’t get an erection… and then the failure of both parties to have sex all falls on our shoulders.

(We have a lot of responsibility as men when it comes to sex — we’re also expected to last long enough to make a woman orgasm, they have no such time limit!)

And the more we stress out about it, the less our chances of becoming erect!

So what do we do? If becoming nervous is part of sex, and becoming nervous kills our erection?

Heres’s how to get an erection when nervous.

It’s Okay To Get Nervous Before Sex — Accept Your Anxiety and Your Erection Will Be Better Off

how to overcome sexual performance anxiety

First thing lots of guys do when they can’t get an erection is they freak out… and now it’s even harder to get an erection…

Part of learning how to get an erection when nervous is to accept that you are nervous, not ignore it or try and push it away… know that it’s normal to feel this way, especially when having sex with someone new.

There’s no shame in this… there’s nothing inherently wrong with you.

I remember when I got hit with a bad case of “mental ED” in my late teens – I must have been about 19 years old. I was trying to have sex with this very sexy girl, and my erection just wouldn’t function. Made no kind of sense to me.

After trying time and time again to “force” myself to get hard (doesn’t work), we ended up having “sex” one day where I was able to achieve about a 50% erection and enter her. That’s the worst time to have sex, because not only does she not feel anything, but your penis isn’t “strong”… “fortified”… and is prone to getting “overwhelmed” by the amazing, engulfing feelings of her vagina… and you usually end up ejaculating sooner.

That’s what happened to me with this particular girl.

However, something interesting occurred that made me feel much better, and showed me I wasn’t alone with this.

I visited a friend’s house, and one of his friends was there, a guy who was known in the neighborhood as a “cool guy” and had his way with girls…

Thing about this guy was he was actually cool… didn’t try, nothing phony about him. If anything, he was very honest, in a refreshing sort of way.

And somehow the topic of sex came up, and out of nowhere he opened up about not being able to get an erection with a girl he was with… sharing all the same frustrations and negative feelings I was going through.

Then my friend opened up… he too had experienced the problem before.

This was pre-internet forum days… real life forum. And these guys (two high-school football players, manly tough guys) opened up about having issues getting it up before sex due to nerves.

We all shared, and I felt so much better after this conversation… and over the years, can’t count how many times I’ve overheard guys discussing similar issues. It happens to everyone… at least at some point in their lives…

Anxiety before sex happens… so.. you just need to learn how to get past it.

So how does all of this tie into how to get an erection when nervous? Accepting that it is normal to feel anxiety before sex actually weakens that very same anxiety’s “choking grip” on your arousal, and allows the “highway of horniness” to open up once again between your mind and your penis.

Build Up Your Arousal While Keeping Your Anxiety In Check In Order to Get an Erection When Nervous

Admitting that you are anxious not only weakens the anxiety, but it allows you to see the anxiety clearly and work through it.

To get an erection when nervous, you want to concentrate on becoming as mentally aroused as possible… Build up that arousal power until the anxiety no longer holds it back and your erection has no choice but to show up. Concentrate on what arouses you the most… and in layman’s terms, “get as horny as possible”.

“Use her”, to become aroused… believe it or not, she will like this. While you’re working on building up your arousal, she’ll be getting turned on and super wet. It’s a win-win.

Accept the anxiety, build up the arousal, and let your erection happen on its own. It knows what to do, no need to tell it.

Take Your Time and Have Fun – Sex is Not A Life Or Death Situation

overcoming sexual anxiety

Sex is supposed to be fun, but we quite often take it too seriously.

Either we’re new to sex and don’t want to be exposed… or it’s been a while since we’ve had sex… or we’re really trying to impress a new woman…

I’ve been in each of these situations throughout my life, so I can relate.

And one thing I can say is, sex is not that serious… now, if you’re in a long-term relationship, and your girlfriend has never had an orgasm, that is a problem that should be taken care, but for a quickie with a new girl, there’s no need to take things so seriously. You have time to improve your technique later.

Joke about things… laugh… have fun… then when your erection is up and at attention, and you’re already inside and going to town, then you can go into “beast mode” if you’d like…

And slooowwwww down… there’s no rush. No rush to get an erection, no rush to keep an erection.

We incorrectly assume that once we lose an erection during sex, we’ll have trouble regaining it… as long as we keep our cool for the most part, we can lose and regain our erection as many times as we’d like. So remove this anxiety from your mind. And enjoy the build up of your arousal.

Don’t take yourself or the situation too seriously… and slow down, rushing won’t help anything… and that will relieve some pressure helping you to achieve and keep erections more naturally.

Physically Strengthen Your Erections for More Confidence in Your Machinery – And Better Understand the Mind / Erection Connection

anxious about getting an erection before sex

Performing cardio, strengthening your PC muscle, and keeping your vitamin D levels in a healthy range are all natural, yet scientifically-backed ways of improving your erection strength, regardless of age.

Improve your erection quality so you feel more confidence in your physical abilities. For more in-depth exercises to develop physically harder, longer-lasting erections, see here!

And while this is a good intro to what is needed to overcome mental blocks to achieving an erection, for more in-depth methods to get an erection when nervous, see here.

Have a good one!

-David Carreras aka Mr. Manpower
Mr. Manpower’s Guide to
Overall Manhood Enhancement

[email protected]

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Natural Ways Men Can Overcome Premature Ejaculation During Sex

ways men can overcome premature ejaculation naturally

Unfortunately, many of the natural ways suggested to men to overcome premature ejaculation during sex are pretty ineffective. Ejaculation is a powerful urge… and as you probably know as a man, a very tough one to stop.

Luckily, I’ve found a few methods, and a certain “mind state” that guys can use to prevent PE during sex.

And as to medical solutions for men to last longer during sex, they work. That’s without a doubt. However, medications bring side effects.

SSRIs can help men overcome PE. I’ve taken them before for a difficult personal issue I was going through, and my ability to delay ejaculation skyrocketed…

However, the side effects made me discontinue taking the meds once I got over that hump.

While on them, I felt out of character… I felt anxious, tired all the time. I gained weight, and my libido was weakened. And the side effects became stronger as time went on.

So you may fix one problem, only to cause others…

How Well Do Medicated Sprays like Promescent with Lidocaine Help Men to Overcome PE?

does promescent work for premature ejaculation

Other medical routes men can take to overcome PE and last longer during sex include Promescent (which contains lidocaine) and general lidocaine sprays, which are both anesthetics, meant to numb the penis.

When I first started out having sex (and dealing with premature ejaculation) Promescent wasn’t around, but sex stores in the area sold a spray called Stud 100, which was a simple lidocaine spray.

I’d spray it on my penis, then after 10 minutes or so, have sex. Me and a buddy of mine would pass the lend the secret weapon to each other when we were going to go see our girlfriends… simpler times…

Well anyway…

Problem was, I would barely feel my penis, had problems knowing if I was hard, and the chemical would rub off on the girl sometimes… I didn’t feel the sex at all.

Promescent’s key chemical is lidocaine as well. And costs much more than what I used to pay for that Stud 100… Not to mention it may be toxic to your sperm… but it’s most likely only temporary, with the lidocaine causing the issue.

Medical sprays are not the greatest solution to lasting longer during sex in my opinion, and I never revisited them after a brief trial…

One Solid and Proven Method Men Can Use To Overcome PE Naturally – Strengthening the Pelvic Floor Muscles

method of overcoming PE - strengthen pelvic floor muscles

There are times when I get lazy with strengthening my PC muscle with kegels, and in those times I really notice the difference in not just my erection quality, but in my ability to delay ejaculation.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become much more familiar with the arousal process than I was as a younger man starting out having sex. Also, sex is not so novel anymore (but never gets old!), so I undoubtedly have much improved ejaculation control at my age.

But life sends me reminders…

If I don’t keep my PC muscle strengthened with regular kegels, and I have sex with someone new, I sometimes still suffer less ejaculation control than I feel comfortable with.

However, when I perform the exercises daily, and my PC muscle is in shape, I can last much longer during sex.

This regular maintenance is a necessity, especially if you’re naturally prone to PE.

And there’s actually science supporting the stamina improving power of a strong PC muscle.

In this study, men who strengthened their pelvic floor muscles (of which the PC muscle is one) were able to more than double the amount of time they could last… they went from next to nothing (less than a minute), to an average time of 146 seconds (more than 2 minutes)… I know you may be thinking 2 minutes is not a whole lot, especially when you’re trying to make a woman orgasm during the act, but it shows a major improvement in control.

Coupled with psychological ejaculation control insights, any man can learn to last longer during sex without needing medication.

Men Should Keep Vitamin B12 & D Levels in a Healthy Range in Order to Curb Premature Ejaculation Naturally

vitamins to overcome premature ejaculation naturally

There’s a reason SSRIs work so well to overcome premature ejaculation.

It is because serotonin levels are genetically tied to ability to control premature ejaculation, with low serotonin levels being a cause. So when SSRIs boost a man’s serotonin levels, your ability to control ejaculation does as well.

And B vitamins play a role here, here. Vitamin B6 for instance is vital in the creation of serotonin and other feel good neurotransmitters such as dopamine, with low vitamin B6 levels being tied to depression.

Closely related to B6 is another B vitamin, B12 which low levels of the vitamin have also been tied to premature ejaculation.

However, interestingly enough, Vitamin D levels — not even with any relation to the b vitamins — have also shown correlation to ejaculatory control.

While there aren’t any studies explicitly showing that vitamin B or D supplementation will help you last longer during sex as a man, being that low levels of these vitamins are so closely related to both life-long and acquired PE, taking vitamin B12 and vitamin D supplements within safe recommended ranges should without a doubt help, especially if you suffer from a deficiency in either one (which may very well be true if you suffer from PE).

Warm Her Up and Get Her Closer to Orgasm Before Entering – Shortens the Amount of Time You Have to Last

overcoming PE without medication

The Taoists compare sex to a battle.

In large part it’s a battle within oneself of trying to maintain control and not spill your “life essence”, as they see ejaculation.

But just like in battle, one needs strategy.

If you bring a woman closer to orgasm before even entering her, then that makes things much easier for you when you start penetrating (and shortens the amount of time you have to perform)… especially when you consider that women generally take much longer to orgasm than men.

Get her warmed up… physically and mentally during foreplay. Stimulate all her erogenous zones, and stimulate her clit orally or manually before beginning penetration.

Luckily, your hand and tongue have no time limit… other than that you may get cramps in your fingers or neck, or your tongue might get tired… but man up through that… then you won’t have to last as long to make her orgasm… strategy.

Wear a Condom – Now’s Not the Time for Raw Sex

lasting longer in bed

STD risks aside, let’s be real… most couples at some point toss the condoms aside.

However, if you have premature ejaculation, having sex without a condom is just going to make the sex worse for both of you… from an orgasmic perspective. (And if you have really bad premature ejaculation, it’s a bad idea because you may shoot your shot before you’re ready, and risk an unwanted pregnancy…) 

Sure, both men and women say that sex feels better without a condom, but in reality, as long as you’re putting pressure on her clitoris, which isn’t even really in the vagina, than sex will feel good for her.

And right now, it’s about getting her off right? So give up the minor improvement in sensation provided by pure genital to genital contact for the much more intense and satisfying pleasure of orgasm.

And what feels better than having an orgasm while pumping inside of a woman? Nothing. And during raw sex you cannot do this. You have to pull out and shoot somewhere else… ruining orgasmic momentum for her and cutting short what you had going on leading up to that orgasm.

Also, with women taking longer to orgasm than men, then you may be pulling out just short of her orgasm in order for you to ejaculate.

Get smart… strap up, last longer, and get her off.

Train Your Mind To Keep Control Over Your Arousal & Ejaculation – a Powerful Method of Overcoming PE

how to overcome PE without medication

Regardless of age, early ejaculation can still be a problem for many.

It’s important that you get your mind in the proper state in order to last longer. One thing to note is that you want to keep your arousal in check early while penetrating, and not trying to keep burning flames of arousal in check right before ejaculating… get close to the point of no return, and well… it’s much harder to return to calm, in control, penetration.

Being able to last long during sex us a combination of not just keeping the PC calm, but keeping the mind calm. Don’t let your thoughts and visuals knock you off track. Keep your mind strong, and you’ll be able to delay ejaculation for much longer.

Concentrate on what gets her off, and not so much on building your own arousal, until it’s time for you to finish.

To better train your mind and body to last longer during sex without medication, see here: How to Last As Long As You Want During Sex, Naturally.

If All Else Fails, Don’t Turn Away from Medication… It May Be Necessary to Overcome PE for Men in Some Cases

medication that works to overcome premature ejaculation

Doctors prescribe medications when the benefits outweigh the costs to you. And that’s how you should look at it.

You should consider your case of premature ejaculation. If premature ejaculation is causing issues in your relationship, due to an unsatisfied girlfriend or wife, then you may want to consider some medical help (if natural / psychological methods didn’t work for you). The side effects are a small price to pay for the benefits you’ll see in the bedroom and in your relationship.

Another option is on-demand treatment with certain fast acting SSRIs such as Priligy (dapoxetine) and Paxil (paroxetine), which have also been shown to help delay ejaculation even when used shortly before sex. While not as effective as taking the meds on a regular basis, something is better than nothing.

And for more on how to naturally last longer during sex, see here!

Have a good one!!

-David Carreras aka Mr. Manpower
Mr Manpower’s Guide to
Overall Manhood Enhancement
[email protected]

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