There are several reasons why you may suffer from mental erectile dysfunction.
Anxiety is the number one culprit, and may have the strongest negative effect on your arousal, but other scenarios and emotions may keep you from getting it up.
And more often than not, when mental ED occurs, there is more than one of these culprits at fault…
Here are some of the most common factors at play.
Cheating On Girlfriend / Wife, or Guilt Over Having Sex With Someone New
Without a doubt, cheating on a loved one can burden you with some debilitating guilt (I know… I did it a bit in my younger days), and this can follow you into the bedroom, or hotel room, when trying to have sex with this side girl.
Besides wondering what your girl would think about what you’re doing, if you have a heavy conscious (psychopaths, need not apply), you may feel like you should be punished for what you are doing… and this can come in the form of a mental block to your erection.
A similar feeling may occur when having sex with someone new after having been in a long-term relationship… especially if you had strong feelings for the girl, and even more so if YOU dumped her…
Or… if you’re a sick nut like I was, having some fresh meat may be just what you need to get your engines revving… you didn’t hear it from me, though!!!
Being Overly Stressed from Work or Life Situations
Life can be a real pain in the ass sometimes.
It can hit you like a ton of ton of bricks, and it always seems like when one thing hits you, a million others attack you at the same time.
Like you have a giant “kick me” sign on your back, and life loves it.
Also, work… whether you work on your own, or work for somebody, you may be familiar with the constant, never-ending grind necessary for survival.
Combine both of these, and you have STRESS.
Excessive stress can increase cortisol levels, reduce testosterone, and impair sleep… combine all three of these for long-enough, and you will have a negative outlook, high anxiety levels, poor circulation, and a penis that doesn’t want to function.
Take a break gotdamnit… go have a couple drinks with a friend. Jerk off… take a sick day when you’re not sick… play video games for hours. Smoke a joint if you’re into that… do all of these on the same day…
Also, get your endorphins going, lift some weights, go for a run, shoot the ball around… (you should probably do this before the drinking, smoking and jerking off…)
Just take some time off from the world’s stresses, tell your boss to kiss your ass (in your mind), and let the cortisol settle, hormones feel safe again, and body functioning like it’s supposed to.
Depression Can Put A Real Damper On Your Wood
Depression can cause a real lack of interest in EVERYTHING.
We’ve all been depressed before, some of us can climb out of the pit on our own, others may need some extra help (medication).
Even when antidepressants are prescribed, they are generally done so for 9 months or so, and then weaned off, as that’s considered enough time for us to “recharge” our positive mental processes, and then take off on our own.
However, when down in the pits, everything is down in the pits… including our sex drive, and our erectile function.
Combined with the accompanying low-self esteem / lack of confidence, and mental erectile dysfunction can become a problem.
Do what you have to do get out of the funk. Whether on your own — through exercise, vacation from stress (see above), some sun exposure — or with some medical intervention, do what you gotta do!
Embarrassment Over Small Flaccid Penis Size Or Erect Size
Before gaining some flaccid size (hard to believe, I know, but penis enlargement exercises works), I used to be very small when soft, and this caused all sorts of insecurities and embarrassments.
One of these chief embarrassments was a woman seeing my penis before it was “ready”, or at least semi-erect, when we were about to have sex (or before a hand job or BJ).
If this embarrassment hit, it often caused my penis to shrivel up more, keeping it far from being erect.
Luckily, my erect size wasn’t all that bad, so if I got there, I was okay, but having that tiny grower was a cause for much self-consciousness.
I can imagine having a small erect size is not all that much better.
In either one of these cases, know this… your penis size matters to you much more than it does her (unless you have one of those size queens… than good luck — you need an 8 incher at least to make her happy and most of us don’t have that!).
Fear Over Your What’s Coming Next – Your Sexual Performance
Worrying about how long you are going to last during sex, or if she’s going to have an orgasm, or what she’ll think of your penis size or how you fuck her… all of these get in the way of you getting hard.
Remove all these thoughts from your mind.
The first step to getting an erection before sex is to think about YOUR arousal only… use and play with her body to your liking… she’s there for your pleasure. Remove what she may be thinking COMPLETELY from your mind… Don’t think ahead of your performance (knowing how to get her off in other ways and being prepared helps remove this concern, though!)… “be in the now” as cliche as that saying is. GET HORNY.
Your erection knows what to do. Just send a strong enough signal.
And you know what? in the process, I bet she’ll get super horny as well…
Overcoming Mental Erectile Dysfunction With Physically Harder Erections and a Stronger Mind
If you have a mental block to getting an erection (and you get erections fine when on your own), then all you need to do is beat the problem in the mind. The above tips should help.
However, developing physically harder, longer-lasting erections will help provide more confidence in “the machinery”. I’ve written a guide on everything I know on how to develop, achieve, and keep rock hard erections. See here.
I also go more in-depth into how to defeat mental erectile dysfunction. If you want some extra help, or are just curious about strengthening your erection, take a look.
Have a good one!
-David Carreras aka Mr. Manpower
Mr. Manpower’s Guide to
Overall Manhood Enhancement
The Ultimate Sex Guide for Men… “male potency without drugs”