What To Say To A Girl When You Can’t Get An Erection

what to say when you cant get erection e1464308587312 What To Say To A Girl When You Cant Get An Erection

Not being able to get an erection with a new girl you’re dating is quite a common occurrence.

I can remember it happening with a number of girls over the years.

Sometimes I beat the problem, and got my erections back on track… other times it dragged out to long, tumultuous and embarrassing experience.

In the worst of cases, I never got to “redeem” myself with the girl, and she was forever the girl who thought David had erectile dysfunction…

Since those days, I’ve figured out how to get a rock hard erection on command, and overcome any mental block that gets in the way.

But back from experiencing those problems myself, from my conversations with women, and from receiving emails from men and women regarding the difficulties they are facing with this mental ED, I’ve learned about the situation – 360 degrees.

If you have difficulties getting an erection, then there are a few things you can tell a woman in order to keep her at ease, and help alleviate the pressure on your situation.

Part of the reason you are unable to get an erection with a new girl is because you are putting too much pressure on yourself.  It is also due to a lack of comfort, or connection, built between yourself and this new girl.

Discussing the situation with her, should erectile problems happen, will help accomplish both of these things.

1) Assure her that you are attracted to her.

Women will sometimes worry that they may not be attractive enough to turn you on. Tell her that you are very much attracted to her, that you are just nervous from how beautiful she is.

2) This has happened once before.

It’s not good to sound like she’s just another number, and you’re a male gigolo who gets it on on a daily basis, but do tell her it’s happened before… it’s not her. And that this doesn’t occur when alone (so she doesn’t think there’s a physical problem with your erection)… also, it’s happened once before, because if you say this has happened a bunch of times before, she may doubt your sexual abilities.

3) You are putting pressure on yourself, because you like her.

You really want to satisfy her. Due to this pressure on yourself, you can’t get it up.

4) Please be patient, and it will come around.

When this happened before (whether or not it’s true that it happened before), your erection came back to normal once you got comfortable with the girl. This will keep her at peace, and looking forward to the future — and once again, sure that there is no other hormonal or physical issue… or that you don’t find her sexy.

Obviously, you don’t want to shoot all of these things at her at once… use a combo of a couple maybe at most, whatever you feel comfortable saying. For instance, some of these, like number 3), would work much better if you’re in a relationship with the girl (or planning to get into a relationship)… you don’t want to tell a one night stand “you really like her” because you may creep her out… The others should work in that situation, though.

What to DO (ACTIONS) to Help Alleviate The Pressure, And Allow Your Arousal To Grow

oral sex on a woman helps ED e1464309039574 What To Say To A Girl When You Cant Get An Erection

Words help, but sometimes actions help even more.

The number one helpful thing you can do is to learn how to get her off orally. This will take a GIANT weight off of your shoulders = her satisfaction.

Tease her clitoris in a circular motion without touching it. Lick her labia, finger her upper wall. Get her VERY turned on before you pay full, direct attention to her clitoris.

When you finally “touch down” on the clit, start with down-to-up strokes, repeat the same motion, put some heavy pressure on the clit. Finger her upper wall (g-spot area) with a “come here” motion the entire time.

When she starts raising her pelvis off of the bed in extreme arousal, then start sucking hard on the clitoris, continuing the come here motion…

Before long she’ll be orgasming in your mouth.

And there you have it… her satisfaction. Now why worry about whether you can get an erection or not? Why worry about how long you are going to last during sex, or if she’ll have an orgasm?

And guess what? Lifting this weight off your shoulders will very likely be enough for you to be at ease, and get your erection.

Most Women Are Quite Understanding in This Regards… 

When it comes to being unable to get an erection, women, even quite young ones, are generally pretty understanding.

Women by nature are nurturing… caring.

Sure, there are some bad eggs… some that will be hard on you, and maybe make bratty statements if you can’t get an erection. I’ve had a few of those.

In this case, it’s more about them, than you. The fact you didn’t get an erection is a shock to their self-image and ego. They feel they weren’t hot enough, or whatever the case may be, and take it out on you.

And if your penis didn’t work with them? You saved yourself a bunch of headaches in the future. So thank your penis.


  • For more in-depth information on how to overcome this mental block to getting an erection, as well as physical things you can do to achieve harder erections, see here…

Have a good one!

-David Carreras aka Mr. Manpower
Mr. Manpower’s Guide to
Overall Manhood Enhancement

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Cut Calories To Naturally Improve Your Sexual Performance

naturally improve sexual performance e1463104847384 Cut Calories To Naturally Improve Your Sexual PerformanceWant to improve your sexual performance without the need for Viagra and testosterone replacement therapy?

Than gain some discipline in the kitchen!

A recent study found that people who reduced their calorie intake by 25% experienced a better performance in the bedroom, along with overall improved mood, health, sleep, physical appearance and other perks.

Not only did they have more sex, and improved sexual performance, but they experienced better relationships as well.

Nice, huh?

Details of the Weight Loss = Better Sex Study

220 non-obese men and women participated in the study. One group practiced the calorie control (CR), which meant a reduction of 25% in calories, while the others continued to eat without restriction.

Data was collected at baseline, after 12 months, and at 24 months.

Self-reported questionnaires examined the subjects':

  • Mental Health with the Beck Depression Inventory (BDI).
  • Mood with the Profile of Mood States (POMS)
  • Quality of Life with the Rand 36-Item Short Form (36-ISF)
  • Stress with the Perceived Stress Scale (PSS)
  • Sleep with the Pittsburg Sleep Quality Index (PSQI)
  • Sexual Function with the Derogatis Interview for Sexual Functioning – Self Reporting (DISF-SR)

At 24 months, the subjects in the calorie control group had lost an average of 16 pounds, and experienced a significant improvement in mood, reduced tension, increased vigor, as well as improved general health, sex, better relationships, and quality of sleep, compared to those in the “eat whatever” group…

No negative effects were found along with the calorie restriction.

If ever there was a reason to cut out that late night Denny’s run!

Why Does Eating Less Naturally Improve Sexual Performance and Quality of Life?

stomach fat leads to low testosterone study e1463105134896 Cut Calories To Naturally Improve Your Sexual PerformanceCalorie restriction has been associated with a longer, healthier life in several species.

In the case of improved sexual function and mental well-being in humans, at least in the case of males, I believe hormones play a strong role.

Excess stomach fat is associated with lower testosterone levels, and higher estrogen levels. This can create a toxic effect on a man’s mental, physical and sexual well-being.

When you’re hormones are out of whack, you will feel more depressed, less confident, experience even MORE weight gain in the gut (which exacerbates the problem), sleep less, which all lead to a poorer sexual function… and it can become a vicious cycle.

Luckily, as this study shows, weight loss has been shown to have the opposite effect. Other studies provide encouraging results as well…

For instance, gentlemen who had a sleeve gastrectomy (a surgery where the size of the stomach is reduced, leading to feeling full quicker) experienced higher testosterone levels after having lost weight following their surgeries.

So How To Cut Calories? A Simple Man’s Rules For Quick and Easy Weight Loss

Good news to start you off… In the above mentioned study, the subjects in the calorie restricted (CR) group said that after getting passed the initial hump, they experienced a reduction in hunger, and were able to easily maintain their lower calorie count once their bodies’ grew accustomed to the new diet.

So keep that in mind if you are setting out to shrink the gut.

Also, there’s a snowball effect… once you lose some gut, and hunger is reduced, you will look better, feel better, and have a more positive mental state, allowing you to “keep up the good work”.

I’m not into keeping a daily calorie journal, or sticking to chicken caesar salads for every meal, but can provide you with some easy-to-follow guidelines to keep the calories down, and burn off the extras:

  • Only drink water – cut out juices and sodas
  • Limit alcohol intake – very high in carbs
  • Start your day with a cereal meant for weight loss (with plenty of fiber and protein). Eat it with milk.
  • Don’t cut out all carbs, but just serve yourself less rice, potatoes, or pasta. Make up for it with a bit more protein
  • Start off with some veggies or fruits before a meal. Will fill you up faster. Drink water before and during meal; same effect
  • Eat mixed nuts and grains
  • Do some cardio on a regular basis – if there is a sport you like, play it, as it won’t feel as much like exercise, and you’ll enjoy yourself (at least compared to running on a treadmill… boring)
  • Sleep well… when you don’t sleep well, the hormones ghrelin and leptin will cause you to 1) crave fatty and sugary foods and 2) keep you from feeling full
  • Cut out, or severely limit starchy, bread-y, and sugary foods
  • Treat yourself to a cheat meal once in awhile… but don’t over do it, and don’t RELAPSE

Stay strong, and keep your eyes on the prize = a stronger, happier mind, body and sexual performance!! And if you can’t cut a whole 25% of your daily calorie intake, I’m sure any significant reduction will make a big difference.

Other Natural Ways To Become A Better Man, and Stronger Lover

While considered a natural part of aging for many men, a testosterone loss is not an absolute law as you age.

It’s a hard battle, but many men experience no, or very minimal, loss of testosterone, as they get older, as long as they stay in good shape.

If interested in more natural ways to improve your sexual performance, see hereor take a look around my blog!

Have a good one!!

-David Carreras aka Mr. Manpower
Mr. Manpower’s Guide to
Overall Manhood Enhancement
The Ultimate Sex Guide for Men… “male potency without drugs”

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6 Mental Causes Of Erectile Dysfunction (And Their Solutions)

There are several reasons why you may suffer from mental erectile dysfunction.

Anxiety is the number one culprit, and may have the strongest negative effect on your arousal, but other scenarios and emotions may keep you from getting it up.  And more often than not, when mental ED occurs, there is more than one of these bad guys at play…

Here are some of the most common mental factors that lead to your erection not functioning…

1) Being Overly Stressed from Work or Life Situations

mental causes of erectile dysfunction e1462491813802 6 Mental Causes Of Erectile Dysfunction (And Their Solutions)

Life can be a real pain in the ass sometimes.

It can hit you like a ton of ton of bricks, and it always seems like when one thing hits you, a million others attack you at the same time.

Like you have a giant “kick me” sign on your back, and life loves it.

Also, work… whether you work on your own, or work for somebody, you may be familiar with the constant, never-ending grind necessary for survival.

Combine both of these, and you have STRESS.

Excessive stress can increase cortisol levels, reduce testosterone, and impair sleep… combine all three of these for long-enough, and you will have a negative outlook, high anxiety levels, poor circulation, and a penis that doesn’t want to function.

Take a break gotdamnit… go have a couple drinks with a friend. Jerk off… take a sick day when you’re not sick… play video games for hours. Smoke a joint if you’re into that… do all of these on the same day…

Also, get your endorphins going, lift some weights, go for a run, shoot the ball around… (you should probably do this before the drinking, smoking and jerking off…)

Just take some time off from the world’s stresses, tell your boss to kiss your ass (in your mind), and let the cortisol settle, hormones feel safe again, and body functioning like it’s supposed to.

2) Cheating On Girlfriend / Wife, or Guilt Over Having Sex With Someone New

male multiple orgasm e1462492280587 6 Mental Causes Of Erectile Dysfunction (And Their Solutions)

Without a doubt, cheating on a loved one can burden you with some debilitating guilt (I know… I did it a bit in my younger days), and this can follow you into the bedroom, or hotel room, when trying to have sex with this side girl.

Besides wondering what your girl would think about what you’re doing, if you have a heavy conscious (psychopaths, need not apply), you may feel like you should be punished for what you are doing… and this can come in the form of a mental block to your erection.

A similar feeling may occur when having sex with someone new after having been in a long-term relationship… especially if you had strong feelings for the girl, and even more so if YOU dumped her…

Or… if you’re a sick nut like I was, having some fresh meat may be just what you need to get your engines revving… you didn’t hear it from me, though!!!

3) Depression Can Put A Real Damper On Your Wood

how to increase the length of my penis e1446512649660 300x283 6 Mental Causes Of Erectile Dysfunction (And Their Solutions)Depression can cause a real lack of interest in EVERYTHING.

We’ve all been depressed before, some of us can climb out of the pit on our own…

…others may need some extra help (medication).

Even when antidepressants are prescribed, they are generally done so for 9 months or so, and then weaned off, as that’s considered enough time for us to “recharge” our positive mental processes, and then take off on our own.

However, when down in the pits, everything is down in the pits… including our sex drive, and our erectile function.

Combined with the accompanying low-self esteem / lack of confidence, and mental erectile dysfunction can become a problem.

Do what you have to do get out of the funk. Whether on your own — through exercise, vacation from stress (see above), some sun exposure — or with some medical intervention, do what you gotta do!

4) Embarrassment Over Small Flaccid Penis Size Or Erect Size

how to make your penis hang e1462492779840 6 Mental Causes Of Erectile Dysfunction (And Their Solutions)

Before gaining some flaccid size (I know it’s hard to believe, but penis enlargement exercises work), I used to be very small when soft, and this caused all sorts of insecurities and embarrassments.

One of these chief embarrassments was a woman seeing my penis before it was “ready”, or at least semi-erect, when we were about to have sex (or before a hand job or BJ).

If this embarrassment hit, it often caused my penis to shrivel up more, keeping it far from being erect.

Luckily, my erect size wasn’t all that bad, so if I got there, I was okay, but having that tiny grower was a cause for much self-consciousness.

I can imagine having a small erect size is not all that much better.

In either one of these cases, know this… your penis size matters to you much more than it does her (unless you have one of those size queens… than good luck — you need an 8 incher at least to make her happy and most of us don’t have that!).

5) Difficulties In Relationship With Significant Other

GTY unhappy couple sk 150327 16x9 608 6 Mental Causes Of Erectile Dysfunction (And Their Solutions)If you and your lady are having problems, this too can keep your erection from functioning.

The worst is when you know there is some sort of impending breakup is coming, and it’s her decision as to what’s going to happen… and you’re just in limbo, wondering when it’s going to happen.

Either you will not get hard, or you will have that amazing, painful, bittersweet sex that often occurs right before we get dumped (I’ve been there before, too…).

Other relationship issues that may cause a sexual mental block are if you’re girl did some sort of injustice against you, and you just can’t get over it (which they do from time to time…). Your little buddy down below will be mad at her, too. He’s got your back!

6) Fear Over Your What’s Coming Next – And Judgement Of Your Sexual Performance

overcome psychological ED e1462492904657 6 Mental Causes Of Erectile Dysfunction (And Their Solutions)

Worrying about how long you are going to last during sex, or if she’s going to have an orgasm, or what she’ll think of your penis size or how you fuck her… all of these get in the way of you getting hard.

Remove all these thoughts from your mind.

The first step to getting an erection before sex is to think about YOUR arousal only… use and play with her body to your liking… she’s there for your pleasure. Remove what she may be thinking COMPLETELY from your mind… Don’t think ahead of your performance (knowing how to get her off in other ways and being prepared helps remove this concern, though!)… “be in the now” as cliche as that saying is. GET HORNY.

Your erection knows what to do. Just send a strong enough signal.

And you know what? in the process, I bet she’ll get super horny as well…

Overcoming Mental Erectile Dysfunction With Physically Harder Erections and a Stronger Mind

how to add girth to penis 6 Mental Causes Of Erectile Dysfunction (And Their Solutions)If you’re experiencing a mental block to getting an erection (and you get erections just fine when on your own – ruling out physical causes), then all you need to do is beat the problem in the mind once, and you’ll be good from then on. At least with this same partner.

A new anxiety might hit with the following lover, but you’ll have a better game plan for beating it.

Another thing that helps is strengthening your erections. Even if you currently have hard erections, trust me, they can be physically harder, and last much longer than you are used to… and I’m not talking about with Viagra… see here if you’re interested in developing much harder erections.

Have a good one!

-David Carreras aka Mr. Manpower
Mr. Manpower’s Guide to
Overall Manhood Enhancement
The Ultimate Sex Guide for Men… “male potency without drugs”

Related Posts:

Man Suffers Mental ED – Girlfriend Had Been With “Bigger” Men

Can You Become Psychologically Dependent On Viagra?


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How To Increase Flaccid Penis Size In One Week

increase flaccid penis size naturally e1462729108336 How To Increase Flaccid Penis Size In One WeekOne of the coolest benefits of penis enlargement exercises is the larger flaccid size it gives you.

Of course, the holy grail of penis enlargement is a longer and thicker erection. When we talk about the size of our penis, we talk about our erect size: “Oh, I have a 6 incher… oh, I’m 7 inches.”

But being hung, with a bigger penis when soft, is pretty cool:

  • You fill out your pants more.
  • You have a larger bulge.
  • You feel larger, in a masculine/sexual way.
  • Women think you have a big penis based on the flaccid size, even if the erect size is not any larger than average.

And with an average flaccid penis size of 3.5 inches, you’ll see that most men are not that large when soft.

Embarrassment Over My Small Flaccid Penis Size Started Early

I remember my first time doing something sexual.

I was 12 years old, and just had my first kiss with a girl named Christy. Christy was in 8th grade, and I was in 7th, so it was so amazing doing something with an “older woman”.

Christy had developed quickly, and was pretty “busty”, so me and my other pre-teen friends would slobber over her when she’d walk by.

And for some reason, she liked me. I heard it through the grapevine, and a mutual friend hooked us up.

Our first kiss was at the school fair, and I wasn’t prepared… we went for a walk to a secluded area, and she just jumped at me, and started making out. It felt amazing. So much going on in our mouths, so much bliss. It felt like heaven. For me, I had already taken a massive step forward in my life.

But the forward progress didn’t stop there.

One week later, we went to the movies with my friend, and one of her friends. During the movie, I thought we would just kiss, but then she grabbed my hand, and put it on her tit (she was advanced!). I was petrified, but at the same time, overly excited.

She then opened my belt, went into my pants, and started tugging on my tiny little flaccid member.

While very happy about what was going on, I had an extreme embarrassment over my small flaccid penis, which only seemed to shrink up more thanks to my anxiety.

Luckily, in a couple more outings, I became comfortable with Christy, and my erection started working with her, and we actually ended up having sex! Talk about a big jump, from first kiss to first fuck in just a couple weeks!

But The Embarrassment and Small Penis Anxiety Didn’t Stop At This Age 

As I got older, I had hoped that my flaccid penis would increase in size, but it didn’t.

As an 18 year old, my flaccid penis wasn’t much larger than it was when I was 12. My erection was close to 6 inches, and had a decent girth, but I still had nothing but a little stub for a penis when it was soft.

When about 19 I picked up a girl I had just started dating.  Jennifer… she was half Colombian, half Puerto Rican, and gorgeous… caramel skin, big tits, tall… when we’d go out, grown men with their wives would ogle her…

She lived way the fuck down south, but was worth the trip.

On one of our first dates, I picked her up, and when in the car, she started reaching in my pants. My penis was far from “ready”, and I felt her hand engulf my baby-sized flaccid dick.

Luckily, she liked me enough to overlook this (as most girls do— they generally understand, flaccid penis size does not correlate with erect size), but it didn’t save me from feeling a deep shame. I would have felt WAY better with a big, hanging flaccid penis that she could play with…

Same thing happened to me at 19 as when I was 12… my penis shrunk up from its duties.

Tired of Embarrassing Events, I Took To Natural Penis Enlargement Exercises

become hung flaccid e1425402189474 300x290 How To Increase Flaccid Penis Size In One WeekExperiences like this lead me to click on those “early internet” ads of a guy standing with a small flaccid penis in the before photo, and an after photo of the same man with a much larger, hanging flaccid penis. Undoubtedly, photoshopped… but I had hopes that it might work.

I learned some basic penis enlargement exercises, and noticed something cool.

While trying to increase the size of my erection, my flaccid penis length, girth, and hang had slightly increased… In just a matter of a week.

It wasn’t anything out of this world, but definitely noticeable (I also began experiencing harder erections). And coming from a place where I used to have half of a vienna sausage, having a small hot dog a week later was a great feeling.

Then in time, with some research, practice and observation, I not only learned to increase my erection by over an inch and a half (and added some girth), but I greatly increased my flaccid length, weight and hang.

Since making these great gains, I’ve dedicated quite a bit of time to learning about penis enlargement to make my flaccid penis bigger.

6 Tips To Increase Your Flaccid Penis Size With PE

There are a few rules of thumb if you want to become a show-er with natural penis enlargement exercises. Some of these include:

  • Warming up sufficiently, and for a good while, until your penis is loose and pliable (skip the exercises on days where your penis feels too “rubbery” or stiff, may actually lead to “turtling”). Heat increases the ability of tissue to be lengthened.
  • Rather than pulling your penis as hard as you can during stretches, just get a good stretch till you feel that moderate “burn” in the ligs, and then hold in place for a good while.
  • When jelqing, don’t squeeze as hard as you can on your grip. Get a fair grip, and increase the number of repetitions (150+).
  • Work on some of the “inner penis” by starting a jelq BEHIND the testicles… just a few is okay. This brings inner bloodflow to the outter penis.
  • Jelq your penis with at least some “life” to it. Don’t do it with a completely flaccid penis. Jelq some blood into the penis every 20 or so reps.
  • Perform penis enlargement for a few days consecutively, but take a break at least every 3 or 4 days, if not you’ll be overworking the tissue.

Penis enlargement, in general, will increase your flaccid size, but certain exercises can make you gain flaccid size, and keep flaccid size, longer.

I’ve written down everything I know about penis enlargement in my guide, including my routine to increase flaccid size. If interested, you can read about my guide, here.

You can also reach me here: david@mistermanpower.net

Have a good one!

-David Carreras aka Mr. Manpower
Mr. Manpower’s Guide to
Overall Manhood Enhancement
The Ultimate Sex Guide for Men… “male potency without drugs”

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