As we all know, there is no guidebook, or instruction manual, handed to us by our parents as what to do when we first start out having sex.
Just an “on the job training” approach.
For men, some of us advance in our job, others stay in the same position.
I stayed in the mail room for quite a long time.
My main issues in the bedroom were a choking sexual anxiety that prevented me from being able to get an erection before sex most of the time… and severe premature ejaculation, if my penis decided it actually wanted to work that day.
I also had an average penis size (which for most us guys, average translates to small — at least in our minds), and zero idea as to the mechanics behind a woman’s orgasm — a very complex puzzle it seemed. Or more like an unsolvable enigma.
At the time, I was positive it was my premature ejaculation and average penis size that was keeping me from being able to bring a woman to orgasm.
I had heard a couple of stories from girls about men they were dating who were able to make them orgasm. In these stories, these guys apparently had powerful ejaculation control, and were able to hold back until the women felt unparalleled waves of quenching pleasure.
“I felt like I had to pee… and then I let go, it was just these powerful feelings going from my vagina, taking over my whole body…”
“We were in the back seat of his car, and I rode and rode his penis, until I had an orgasm…
I can’t recall their exact words, but those were the gist of the two women’s stories…
As you can imagine, coming from a man who had tried his hardest to make a girl orgasm, and failed every time… hearing these stories, and all of their details, about these much more masculine men, built an intense envy in me. This crushed my confidence.
The Time Had Come — Something Had To Be Done
The straw that broke the camel’s back came in the form of a girl whom I loved very much, but who was very unhappy with me in bed.
Outside of the bedroom, our relationship was great. The chemistry was there, the attraction was there, our personalities and senses of humor matched.
But in the bedroom, she always seemed to always be just a few strokes away from orgasm… but before she could get there, I’d be lying post-orgasm, with a deflated penis and my head tucked into her neck… “I’m sorry.”
As men, we want nothing more than to fully satisfy our lady in bed. Good dates, and great laughs are enjoyable — and essential — but fully physically connecting with our love? And being the source of their complete physical satisfaction?
There’s no comparison. And sadly, all too often, we miss the mark.
After some time she grew tired of my “sorries”. She wanted orgasms. And I just couldn’t give them to her.
She left me, and I couldn’t blame her.
I beat myself up with regrets, as is the norm after a breakup… but these were very specific regrets… ”Maybe she would have stayed with me if my penis had been an inch larger? Maybe she would have been satisfied if I could have just lasted a bit longer?” Possibly. But it didn’t matter. It was too late. She was gone.
Little did I know, at time, though… I had all the tools I needed,
My penis size was just fine.
My sexual stamina was more than adequate.
I just needed to learn the ropes.
And So The Ropes I Learned – From A to Z, How To Make a Woman Orgasm
Around this time I had a small studio, no larger than 250 square feet. It was my first place alone. I was in my early 20s (I’m not the dude in the image to the left… but it was a similar scene).
I locked myself in this small studio, with sad memories of the good times I used to have with my ex-girlfriend, and began to learn, and learn, and learn… absorb, absorb, absorb… visualize and visualize.
I devoured books galore on the female orgasm. I printed up guides to cunnilingus, and overcoming premature ejaculation, and absorbed information for months on end. The Multi-Orgasmic Male by Mantak Chia, The Tao of Health, Sex and Longevity by Daniel Reid, I Love Female Orgasm by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller, She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman by Ian Kerner, Ph.D… these are just a few of them…
I also applied myself more seriously to my penis enlargement routine and research, and with much more determination/vigor. (Yes, it does work).
I remember lonely afternoons in my small apartment, obsessively cramming this information for hours. This went on for several months on end… during this time, I didn’t even try to go out, socialize, or date.
*NOTE: A breakup can really turn us into a hermit… if one is not careful. After a reasonable amount of time of healing, you gotta force yourself to get out there, no matter how shitty you feel!
I originally planned on using this newfound knowledge to impress my ex, and hopefully “wow” her back… but her ignoring of my calls, and cold, standoffish attitude made it seem like this was not going to happen.
And sadly, I never got the chance.
In the back of my head, I carried these doubts that I was ever going to overcome my premature ejaculation. I was positive, being able to make a woman an orgasm was something reserved for “manlier men” like described above. I was doomed to live this measly existence. I was POSITIVE of this at the time, although I ignored the thoughts in my mind the best I could.
In Steps Samantha
After months of being an obsessive recluse, on a mission to learn how to not be terrible in bed, I received a random call from an ex-girlfriend.
Not the girl I had in mind, but a girl who still held a place in my heart.
It’s a great feeling getting a call from an ex-lover. I was excited, and happy… But nervous as hell at the same time.
I had never satisfied her either during our time together, and I’m sure she was just calling me out of boredom, so I didn’t feel too badly about what I had in mind — putting my new sexual knowledge to use.
And reuniting with an ex-flame, and having fun, of course…
The main points that were going to (hopefully) make a difference, and bring the act “to fruition”, FINALLY, were:
Performing cunnilingus for a good while before penetrating, in order to warm up her clitoris (up until this time, I didn’t even known where the clitoris was, or how important it was to a woman’s orgasm).
All things I was unable to do up to this point, or unaware of.
Now the question is… would my “attack strategy” really work? Did I actually have what it took to make a woman an orgasm? Or would this experience further cement in my mind that I was a weaker “specimen” than other guys?
The Moment Of Truth – Making Samantha Orgasm
Samantha and I went out for a movie and some drinks.
Felt good, just like old times. A strong chemistry was still there, and it felt like a reuniting of kindred souls.
However, I carried a heavy concern in the back of my mind the entire time – the “test of my manhood” in the bedroom that would hopefully / hopefully not occur later on.
And being the anxious type of personality, it was hard to shake this concern.
I drank a good bit to take the edge off, but not enough to kill my performance. (Drinking the night you hope to get lucky is all about striking the proper balance, which I luckily did).
We came back to my place, I put on a movie as some “backdrop”, and we started to kiss. It had been such a long time since we kissed — It felt great.
I then went into foreplay, which included a combination of old and new “moves…” to increase both of our arousal:
After some warming her up, I “bravely” pulled her pants down, and proceeded to go down south. I followed the oral sex techniques I had read about, and memorized in my mind:
Before not very long, she was gyrating her hips, and pushing my head into her vulva, and SHE HAD A PULSATING, POWERFUL ORGASM IN MY MOUTH!
Then she lay there in post-orgasmic bliss. What a great feeling knowing I had finally given a woman an orgasm!!
But the test wasn’t complete to me. I still needed to see if I could make her orgasm with my penis.
I entered her from above, and began penetrating, using my pelvis to provide a rough pressure against her clit. This allowed me to reduce stimulation to my penis that would make me ejaculate quickly, and provided her with strong stimulation on her most sensitive part.
I kept my mind at ease, in a near blank state, and didn’t let arousing thoughts cloud my mind, or allow me to get knocked “off balance”. My ejaculation control exercises / training really helped prepare me.
I kept the pressure up, and rubbed quickly, penetrating in more of a diagonal, up-and-forward, down-and-out motion, as quickly as possible (talk about a serious abdominal workout), and before long, I felt her vagina squeezing up against my penis and having rapid, powerful contractions, and then she lay there once again, with a strong exhalation and an “Oh my Goddddd…”
I made her cum with my penis. I was officially, at least by my simple definition at the time, a man.
I then asked her to get on top and ride me, like she used to. Back before, when she’d do this, I’d ejaculate quickly every time — but I still greatly enjoyed the position.
She got on top, and began to ride me. I fingered around her anus, and simultaneously sucked on her nipples — this was like hitting the fast forward button on another orgasm for her (but for myself as well!) She rode herself off through A THIRD powerful orgasm, and I finished at the same time… after a few seconds of rest and catching our breath, she then looked at me, sweaty and glistening, nipples still perky and full of life, and said “Wow, we have incredible sex”.
Coming from someone who was never able to make a woman an orgasm during sex, this was such an amazing victory in life!
A New Life, Less Limitations
This experience was more than just about being able to finally give a girl an orgasm.
It was about breaking what I considered to be a MAJOR “limitation”, or rule, in my mind and life.
In reality, the limitation was never there. I was more than enough “man” for anybody I was with. Each and every one of, regardless of our penis size or sexual stamina, is more than enough for their partners, physically, sexually, and in every other way. Know this.
The Creation of Mr. Manpower’s Guide
A couple of years later, as the internet REALLY took off, I began to see that I was not the only man having gone through situations like the above-mentioned.
Millions of men all over the world, of all ages, face insecurities and issues with being unable to get an erection, not being able to last long enough to make their lover orgasm, unhappiness over penis size, feelings of weakness and low libido, and several other sexual hangups and issues.
I saw my advice was greatly helping men on sexual forums, and question & answer sites, and saw the endless amount of need for the same information I had learned, so I took some time, and put everything I knew into one guide.
I started in 2007, and over the years, have continued to add to Mr. Manpower’s Guide new information that I was still learning through my research and practice.
For more information on any of these areas (all chapters of Mr. Manpower’s Guide), please click below:
- For how to overcome sexual performance anxiety, click here…
- For how to increase your penis size without pills, click here…
- For how to stay hard after orgasm / male multiple orgasms, click here…
- For how to increase testosterone levels and libido, click here…
Have a good one!!
-David Carreras aka Mr. Manpower
Mr. Manpower’s Guide to
Overall Manhood Enhancement