Premature ejaculation was the number one problem I faced when I first started out having sex (and for a number of years after…).
It kept me from being able to satisfy a woman in bed, which oftentimes made me shy away from sexual encounters.
When I would get a girlfriend, and we’d start having sex, without failure, the same thing would occur:
I’d get extremely aroused during foreplay… the “eroticness” of the situation was almost too much to handle. If I was “super horny”, which was most of the time, then it felt like my penis was red-hot and ready to bust before I even ENTERED the girl. One or two touches too many, and it would set my penis off.
Even On My “Best” Days I Was Not Good
Even on a good day, where I was able to maintain a little more ejaculation control, I’d last maybe two or three minutes TOPS before my penis reached “red-hot” status… and once it got to this level, there was no turning back.
I Tried Everything To Last Longer During Sex Naturally – Nothing Worked – Seemed Like A Hopeless Search After A While
The only way that this red hot arousal in my penis would turn off was by ejaculating, and everything I did to PREVENT ejaculation, only lead me CLOSER to it.
I could pull out and wait… I could think distracting thoughts… I could jump up and down blowing air on my dick to try and cool it off… but no matter what I did, no longer how long I waited, as soon as I put it back in her, I was just a couple of strokes away from busting.
And this was how sex was for me… for a long time.
I began drinking and smoking marijuana before sex, because I noticed I had improved ejaculation control when under the influence of these substances, but even with this extra “help”, I STILL wasn’t lasting long enough to give women orgasms.
(Plus it pushed me to drink and smoke more, nearly every time I was with a woman, in order to try and “improve my performance”… not the smartest, and healthiest, long term solution).
What I Found Out DOESN’T Work To Last Longer In Bed
If you search online for how to overcome premature ejaculation, I bet you’re coming across the same advice over and over… and the advice given is most likely not helping very much..
And that’s why you’re here… because you’ve had no luck so far.
Well no worries, I’ll show you what you need to do to last longer in bed, but before we get there, let me show you what to stay away from (and which seems to be the main advice EVERYWHERE).
The Squeeze Technique
Pulling out, and squeezing behind the head of your penis, in order to last longer during sex, doesn’t work for a number of reasons….
1) The arousal “erasing’ effect this technique has, I never experienced it. If my gun was red-hot and ready to blast, there was NOTHING I could do to cool it off. Squeezing behind the head did nothing.
2) The definition of premature ejaculation is ejaculating before you or your partner would like… and finishing before a girl has had an orgasm is most likely finishing before you or she would like. A woman needs NON-STOP penetration to have an orgasm during sex... and taking a break to pull out and squeeze your penis RIGHT AS AROUSAL REACHES IT’S HIGHEST POINT is a surefire way to prevent her from reaching orgasm.
Yes, women usually need a little more stimulation than a man in order to reach orgasm. This can be “evened out” by going down on her for a while before beginning penetration, as well as penetrating her with pressure on the clit. But to in most cases, her orgasm is JUST A BIT after yours… so you need to plow through FULL SPEED WITHOUT LETTING UP if you ever want to make her orgasm.
The Stop and Start Technique
See above…
Sure, you can extend your OVERALL performance time by a few minutes by constantly stopping and starting up again, but if you’re not giving her an orgasm, you’re not doing anything.
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with slowing down the pace once in a while, or even stopping before you cum (and she’s about to cum), to improve excitement, but if this is the sole method you are relying on to overcome your PE, then good luck!
Distracting Your Thoughts During Sex
Not allowing yourself to concentrate on overly-arousing visuals and thoughts DOES help you to last longer during sex… better than the above two physical tricks. Also, your mind plays a stronger role in how long you can last than any physical technique does (one night I was able to last forever during sex – at the peak of my premature ejaculation days – because I was half asleep… see details here).
However, pulling yourself away from the situation, disconnecting from the sex and the arousal, can allow your arousal to run amok, unseen… and by the time you are in the red-hot arousal zone, you will be too disconnected from the situation to regain control.
The idea is to keep your arousal in check, but to be fully aware of it… more on that later.
Ejaculating Right Before Sex
Don’t go into sex with a loaded gun… this is the advice many men give for overcoming premature ejaculation.
If you haven’t ejaculated in a while, you will ejaculate sooner, so it IS a good to ejaculate some time before sex. But ejaculating RIGHT before sex can be a problem, especially if you have a strong refractory period… you may not be able to get it up during sex, or keep a full strength erection. You will also take out all the joy and excitement of sex.
So ejaculate the night before, or maybe early in the day, but in my premature ejaculation days, even on round two, I still wasn’t able to make her get off.
What DOES Work To Last Longer During Sex UNNATURALLY
Although I am all for natural ways to last longer in bed, I believe that what needs to be done to fix your problems in bed, needs to be done.
Premature ejaculation can be a relationship killer (more specifically her not having an orgasm during sex / fully satisfying sex). If this means taking a low dose of an SSRI to remedy the problem, then you should seriously consider it.
SSRI’s
Having low serotonin levels, our happy neurotransmitter, has been linked to premature ejaculation. We can’t really control, or manipulate, our serotonin levels on our own, although certain foods and activities have been shown to slightly temporarily boost serotonin production.
However, the amount of serotonin you normally have circulating in your brain is pretty much predetermined.
Selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors (SSRIs), a class of antidepressants, have been shown to increase the amount of serotonin circulating in the brain, and as a fun side effect, GREATLY delay ejaculation. Doctors oftentimes prescribe SSRI’s solely for the treatment of premature ejaculation.
The downside to SSRI’s are the side effects. SSRI’s can cause fatigue, low sex drive, changes in your personality, and weight gain. However, studies have shown that on-demand use (only on the days you are going to have sex) of dapoxetine has been shown to delay ejaculation as well, meanwhile minimizing side effects.
Extended Pleasure Condoms
Certain condoms have benzocaine, a desensitizer.
On the packages of these condoms it describes benzocaine as a “mild” desensitizer, but the effect is actually quite powerful… you will feel nothing in your penis.
There are mixed reviews on these condoms to last longer, with some men saying they work great, while others complaining they numb the penis too much, causing the man to lose his erection (due to the lack of sensation of stimulation), or causing the woman to become numb as well, which defeats the purpose.
Worth experimenting with, though.
Regular Condoms
Regular condoms are a great sidekick to a good sexual performance, because 1) you will feel SLIGHTLY less, allowing you to maintain better ejaculation control, and 2) you won’t have to pull out when you reach orgasm… you can keep going. And if your erection is hard enough after ejaculation, then you should be able to reach her orgasm, which should be right after yours.
Stud 100 with Lidocaine
Similar to the chemical in the extended pleasure condoms, lidocaine will greatly numb your penis.
I experimented with Stud 100 when I was in my late teens, and while the spray would literally allow me to last forever during sex, the same issue would occur as mentioned above – so much desensitization that I wasn’t sure if I had an erection anymore, and it would rub off on the girl I was having sex with as well.
Now, on to the main course…
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What ACTUALLY Works To Overcome Premature Ejaculation Naturally
Luckily, through years of weeding through all the BS, I’ve learned how to conquer my premature ejaculation.
I can now last as long as I want during sex, and I’ll assure you, even if you have a “quick trigger” like I used to, you too can learn to last MUCH longer.
The following methods work, and don’t require medication or tricks.
Kegels/PC Squeezes
A recent study has shown that men with severe, life-long premature ejeaculation who performed kegels/pc squeezes on a regular basis for 12 weeks, were able to almost QUADRUPLE the amount of time they could last during sex.
In order to reap the ejaculation control benefits of a strong pc muscle, you need to make sure you are kegeling properly. If you’ve done your kegels correctly, after an exercise session, the base of your penis should look temporarily thicker. (Tip: do not allow any neighboring muscles to jump in and help).
Also, relax the pc muscle completely (as well as your entire pelvic and midsection) during sex… tensing the pc muscle repeatedly during sex can actually cause you to ejaculate sooner, because it stimulates the prostate.
The only time you kegel during sex is when performing male multiple orgasms.
Concentrating On The Clitoris Before And During Sex
Remember, the definition of premature ejaculation is finishing before you or your partner would like. So if you can only last three minutes, but you can make her orgasm in those three minutes, then you won’t be prematurely ejaculating!
Make your strokes count!
That was my main problem when younger… a complete ignorance as to the importance of the clitoris to the female orgasm, and how to penetrate properly. So even if a 6-pack of Heineken and a hit off a bowl helped me last 7 minutes, I still wasn’t “hitting it right”.
Real, orgasm-producing sex is NOT what it looks like in porn.
It’s not about “banging away” at her… it’s more of a rubbing movement. Push hard into her clit on the in- and out-stroke, with your pelvis. This will shorten the amount of time it takes for her to orgasm.
That’s why so many articles have that BS about it taking a woman 20 – 40 minutes to have an orgasm… because these men are so ignorant as to how to penetrate!
I give my girl multiples in under 5 minutes (and have done this with MANY girls before her, so it’s not just a fluke).
Ejaculation Control Training – Develop The Mind State Of A Long-Laster
You need to become more aware of your arousal process, before and during sex.
Learn about the anxiety that arises when you are becoming aroused… see the guilt you feel when becoming horny. Learn to “step back” and observe your thoughts and feelings, removed from the situation. Subtract all the negative “extras” that get in the way of clear mental ejaculation control.
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During sex, watch your arousal slowly start to grow, and build. Keep it in check, so that it stays low and “plateaus”… don’t allow that exponential climb to ejaculation, because as we all know, once you get to the point of no return, no amount of “squeezing” or “stopping and starting” will get you back.
Keep the arousal in check from the get-go, and you can penetrate rough, hard and fast, and as long as your mind is strong, you will be able to last as long as you want.
Don’t let the arousal run wild without your say so in the matter…
As mentioned, your mind is the strongest tool you have towards ejaculation control.
There are solo exercises you can do “cultivate” this proper mind-state. Almost like a hypnosis, that re-teaches your thinking and feeling about sex, allowing you to last much longer. For more on these exercises delay ejaculation / last longer during sex naturally, click here…
Dry Orgasms – Multiple Male Orgasms
Your ejaculation and orgasm are two separate events happening simultaneously. Learn how to stop the ejaculation during orgasm, and you can keep your erection at 100%, and continue on penetrating.
This means that you can eliminate your refractory period, so that orgasm is no longer the finish line of your performance.
Now that I’ve mastered male multiple orgasms, I can have several orgasms in a row without losing any erections strength, and can last as long as I’d like. It’s a powerful technique to know, but one that needs a good teacher in order to really get it down.
For more info on the male multiple orgasm technique, click here…
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Overcoming Premature Ejaculation, Not A Hopeless Mission After All
You’ll find that as you get older, ejaculation control may also naturally comes to you, but some men do not ever outgrow their premature ejaculation without some help. Whether it be medical, or a psychological/natural solution, overcoming premature ejaculation will bring a peace of mind to you, and a “mending effect” to your relationship.
So if you are currently suffering from PE, do something about it, and know that it can be defeated.
Have a good one!!!
-David Carreras aka Mr. Manpower
Mr. Manpower’s Guide to
Overall Manhood Enhancement
The ultimate sex guide for men… “male potency without drugs”
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P.S. Any questions you may have towards overcoming PE, feel free to shoot me an e-mail! [email protected]
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