Throughout my whole life, for some reason, I’ve been obsessed with getting my 8 hours of sleep when possible. And little did I know it was with good reason because… a lack of sleep can lead to premature ejaculation.
In the study “Poor Sleep Quality is an Independent Risk Factor for Acquired Premature Ejaculation” published in Nature and Science of Sleep, researchers discovered how a lack of sleep not only leads to premature ejaculation, but several other negative effects we don’t want to experience as men.
In this case they studied men who acquired premature ejaculation later in age (APE), not men who had primary premature ejaculation, as primary premature ejaculation generally has a genetic cause, while acquired has comorbidities that can be observed (and altered).
First off, there were a few factors found more often in the PE group than in the control group, including:
(Note: As to older age correlating with premature ejaculation, this is not a given. From what I’ve seen, in my experience and in feedback I’ve heard from others, as long as you have some ejaculation control basics, you should be able to last longer the older you get… however, without the basic knowledge, appears age is not your friend when it comes to lasting power.)
From the study:
“A total of 349 men were enrolled in the study after completing the questionnaires and the medical history survey. Among 349 men, 203 individuals (58.17%) suffered from acquired PE. The IIEF-5 [erectile function] score, IPSS [prostate score], GAD-7 [anxiety] score, PHQ-9 [overall health] score, and PSQI [sleep quality] score of the population with PE were significantly different from the non-PE group. Further multivariate analysis showed that erectile dysfunction, depression, severe prostatitis-like symptoms, and poor sleep quality were high-risk factors of APE. Additionally, our study showed that premature ejaculation diagnostic tool (PEDT) score was associated with IPSS/GAD-7/PHQ-9/PSQI scores positively and associated with IIEF-5 scores negatively. The stratified analysis of sleep quality showed that APE patients with different sleep qualities have different prevalence rates of anxiety, depression, prostatitis-like symptoms, and erectile function.”
It was thought that one of the major reasons that a lack of sleep can lead to premature ejaculation is because “long-term sleep intervention may affect central ejaculation regulation”.
Besides being associated with premature ejaculation, a lack of sleep can get in the way of the restoration of our manly biological processes and lead to low testosterone, erectile dysfunction, and infertility…
So get your Z’s… and lose weight, and take care of your prostate, and get your mental health in order… making a conscious effort in these areas generally leads to a cycle positively influencing each aspect…
How to Sleep Better and Improve Your Sexual Stamina and Health
While getting sufficient sleep is nowhere near enough to help you last longer during sex on its own, it’s just one extra piece of the puzzle you can have in place to help tackle the problem.
Some things that will help you sleep better:
Cutting out electronics – bright screens – at least for some time before sleeping. Keeps the mind from being too active.
Not exercising too close to bedtime – keep the heart rate low
Cutting out caffeine later in the day – the effects are long-lasting and can keep your mind awake much longer than you’d believe
Meditation – helps to empty the mind, reduce the heavy thinking and clutter
Taking a warm shower – lowers your core temperature, a circadian sleep signal
Not taking a nap for too long or too late
Gaining mental control over your arousal and physically strengthening your PC muscles are much larger pieces of the puzzle, but if you’re struggling with PE, why not keep a closer eye on your sleep schedule?
For a more advanced guide to mentally and physically lasting longer during sex, see here: How to Last Longer During Sex
Have a good one!
-David Carreras aka Mr. Manpower Mr. Manpower’s Guide to
Overall Manhood Enhancement [email protected]
Apparently, Covid stays in the penis long after the virus has left the rest of your body (it’s been found up to 8 months later!). Covid causes erectile dysfunction by affecting the blood vessels in your penis similar to how it affects the blood vessels in your lungs, preventing them from providing enough blood for your erection to properly function.
Covid has caused ED so bad in some cases, that men had to undergo penis implant surgery, when previous to infection they didn’t suffer from ED at all.
Ranjith Ramasamy, Director of the Reproductive Urology Program at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine in Miami compared the damage caused to the penis from Covid to the organ damage that not only affects the lungs, but kidneys and brain.
And this might not be something temporary to be taken likely. Looks like it’s possible that Covid causes erectile dysfunction in the long run. “We think the penis also could be affected in a similar way. We don’t think this is a temporary effect. We think this could be permanent”, said Ramasamy.
Dr. Ramasamy and his team at the Miller School also previously discovered that Covid-19 can invade the tissues in your testicles, potentially having a negative effect on male fertility.
In the “Mask up to keep up” study published in the medical journal Andrology, a team from the University of Rome reviewed online surveys conducted by 100 sexually active men, including 25 who tested positive for Covid-19. The prevalence of ED was significantly higher (28%) among the 25 who had tested positive for Covid-19 compared to the 75 who had not (9.33%).
Premature ejaculation is often the punchline of a joke in TV shows and movies. When men can’t last long in bed, or last less time than expected, it becomes shorthand for not being as manly as someone who can. Our culture has taught men to believe that premature ejaculation leads to women not feeling satisfied and men feeling frustrated and emasculated. Unfortunately, many times this is the outcome.
There are a few things to keep in mind: premature ejaculation happens to everyone at some point, and pretty much any case of premature ejaculation can be fixed (ideally naturally / mentally, but if needed with medication). Happened to me for several years actually, until I got the problem under control.
In this article, I’ll explain some of the main causes of premature ejaculation, and some real solutions that actually work for those who suffer from PE.
The Stats on Premature Ejaculation
It’s tough in many instances to know what makes ejaculation “premature” because every situation and every man is different. This also makes it difficult to figure out how prevalent PE is.
For example, some men, due to the tightness of their muscles, their arousal levels, their partner’s stimulation tactics, and more, may never last more than a minute or two during sex, despite having nothing actually wrong with them, and feel like everything is okay! For other men, an expectation to last a half hour in bed with full stimulation causes them to think they have a PE problem even if they last longer than average.
As a basic rule, the NCBI (National Center for Biotechnology Information) defines the average time between the beginning of stimulation and ejaculation as 5-7 minutes, even though there are many perfectly healthy outliers that are shorter and longer than that. That’s just the average. A study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine surveyed men whose partners used a stopwatch during sex and found that non-PE men lasted just over 7 minutes while men who reported suffering from PE lasted less than 2 minutes.
Many men may be unaware of the average when they report having premature ejaculation, which they might be defining based only on their expectations (or their partner’s). According to IJIR: Your Sexual Medicine Journal, approximately 30% of men report experiencing premature ejaculation, no matter how long they actually last in bed. This makes it the most common sexual dysfunction experienced by men.
To make it simple, I believe you have premature ejaculation if you ejaculate before providing a woman with an orgasm… whether it’s two minutes or half an hour.
Causes of Premature Ejaculation
Regardless of how you define it, anyone who suffers from premature ejaculation reports it because it has caused them distress and they want to solve it. Some men have almost no control over their ejaculation at all. An estimated 4% have zero control over their ejaculation, which disrupts both their own pleasure and their partner’s.
Despite its prevalence, premature ejaculation does not have one single known cause. Some doctors believe that the nerve endings in the penis can be too sensitive, causing premature climax. Others suggest that hormone changes can affect the ability to last. Emotional and psychological factors of premature ejaculation have become much more common knowledge over the last few decades as well. Performance anxiety can cause muscles and nerves to tense up, leading to PE. This causes a vicious cycle where the fear of premature ejaculation can actually cause it to happen!
A few instances of PE throughout a man’s life are common and unavoidable. But when it happens often, many men seek help for this embarrassing condition. Hope to help provide some direction in those case.
Solving Premature Ejaculation: A Natural, Personal Approach
Real solutions for premature ejaculation involve first figuring out what could be causing the problem for you. In some cases there will be more than one cause, so trying different things and adding to them to create a regimen will help you see results.
The solutions to PE can be separated into several broad groups, which we will define as: desensitization, medicine, PC muscles, and the mind.
Desensitization
The quickest and least invasive way to try to prevent premature ejaculation is to desensitize yourself before or during sex.
Condoms can be a good place to start if you don’t already use them. The layer between you and your partner can reduce sensitivity and prevent PE. Certain condoms in the Trojan and Durex Performax brands include numbing agents inside. These anesthetics, including lidocaine and benzocaine, can numb you long enough to have satisfying sex. And combined with proper penetrative techniques, contrary to popular belief, condoms can actually improve a woman’s chances of having an orgasm!
Alternatively, these anesthetics can be bought in creams or sprays from a drug store and used to safely delay ejaculation. Some are available with a prescription as well. Using them 15 minutes before sex can be one way to reduce sensitivity and last longer artificially.
Be warned however that anesthetic sprays can have negative effects, such as loss of sensitivity for some time after sex, inability to know when you’re erect and less enjoyable sex. You are spraying yourself with sensation-reducing chemicals after all, during an activity that’s pretty much all about sensation. Your partner may experience loss of sensation as well should they come in contact with any of the chemicals.
Medicine
In addition to sprays, oral medications can be prescribed to delay orgasm. The FDA has not officially approved any medication for PE, but studies have shown that antidepressants called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). SSRI’s delay ejaculation, even with on-demand use.
Additionally, medications traditionally used to treat erectile dysfunction like Viagra and Cialis may have applications for treating PE as well.
Correcting a B12 deficiency, if present, has been shown to correct PE as well in many cases.
PC Muscles
When men Google how to fix premature ejaculation, many sites offer them advice in the form of “kegel exercises.” The directions for these exercises (from the Mayo Clinic) read as follows:
Find your pelvic floor muscles by stopping a stream of urine. These muscles are your pelvic floor.
Tighten these muscles for 3 seconds then relax for 3-5 seconds by breathing into your belly. Do a few in a row when standing, lying down, walking, at your desk, or just before bed.
Focus on flexing the pelvic floor and not the abdomen or buttocks. Be sure to breathe regularly.
Repeat throughout the day – anywhere from 30 to 100 repetitions or more if you feel comfortable.
The theory behind using kegels to prevent PE is sound – by making these muscles stronger, men can achieve more control over ejaculation. And it works. However, it’s important to keep in mind not to kegel during sex, as this tightness and contraction can actually lead to premature ejaculation.
The reverse kegel is a much better option for men who want to regain ejaculatory control. It involves breathing deeply into your belly so that your stomach expands, and gently pushing the pelvic floor muscles out, rather than tightening them up, keeping you further from ejaculation.
Mind
Lastly, your mind is one of the strongest “control centers” in charge of your ability to delay ejaculation during sex (or finish too soon, if filled with anxiety, concern, or over-excitement).
Keeping your mind at ease, all throughout the sexual performance, and not allowing your arousal thoughts to skyrocket unattended helps. Meditation helps you gain better control over your thoughts.
Learning to control your mind during sex, while applying mental techniques, is one of your best bets.
How to Last Longer in Bed – More Advanced Techniques
This should be a good enough guide to get you started, at least adding on some time to your performance. Remember, you didn’t ejaculate prematurely, if she had an orgasm. Stimulate her clitoris, before and during sex… that’s key.
“Performance anxiety” is a term that a lot of web journals use to tell men that their erectile dysfunction is mental rather than physical. The idea of it being “all in your head” doesn’t really help though, since mental issues are often just as hard to treat as physical ones (or harder). By obsessing over it being your fault, your brain’s failure, or your inability to accept your “sexual duty” as a man, your erectile function will not get better. Worry will make it worse.
This is why you need a clean slate. No more “all in your head.” No more “just relax.” By explaining the exact link between what we call anxiety, where that anxiety comes from, and the difficulties men have with erectile dysfunction, we want to help you break the cycle of stress that’s causing the mental (and physical) reactions that are preventing you from having the best sex you can.
Why is Sex a “Performance?”
Performing is stressful. If you’ve ever been through a recital, band audition, a big game, a speech, etc., you know that. You know that your tailbone tucks, your fingers sweat, your heart beats faster, or you just feel agitated and nervous. It’s all perfectly normal. When we care about something, like our music or sport, we get anxiety when it’s time to put that care to the test.
While both men and women can experience feelings of performance during sex, men shoulder the burden of the anxiety differently. And this anxiety leads to erectile dysfunction.
Sexual dysfunction can happen to anyone, but it’s more likely to occur due to “a man’s attitude towards sex, conflict in [his] relationship, and performance anxiety,” according to a study conducted for the International Journal of Stress Management. This means not only that there’s a clear link between performance anxiety and ED, but also that how men think about sex and their relationship is the key to dysfunction caused by anxiety.
When considering how men, even young men, can become anxious before or during sex, look at how our culture shapes their attitude towards it. Think of all the movies where a woman jokes about sex not being long enough, or that the man sleeps afterward, that she didn’t get enough orgasms, or that it wasn’t satisfying. This reduced, Hollywoodized version of relationships shows a very small aspect of the real experience of people who love each other, who can often satisfy each other without needing a “better performance.”
Yet, the media portrayal of how the man needs to “perform” ironically may be partly causing the attitude shift that makes him least likely to be able to do so. By making men feel like something is expected of them, their nerves make it more difficult to get (and give) the pleasure they should.
It’s well-known in the 21st century that advertising unattainable standards of beauty in movies, TV, and magazines can make women feel insecure about their looks. The media surrounding male sexual performance, its own kind of “unattainable standard,” may have a comparable effect on men’s insecurities when it’s time to “perform” in bed.
Since we know that how men view themselves and their relationship is the lynchpin of performance anxiety, it’s important to ask why sex is even considered a “performance” in the first place.
The Effects of Performance Anxiety
Whether influenced by cultural standards, our upbringing, or the challenges in our current relationships, performance anxiety comes with a host of nasty effects related to erectile dysfunction. Men can lose the ability to orgasm, their libido can tank in response to not enjoying sex, and they can even develop premature ejaculation due to their anxiety.
These effects come in cycles and it’s important to realize that if you’ve been evaluated for physical issues, or you have no reason to believe there’s anything else wrong, then the effects of anxiety are not permanent. There’s nothing wrong with you, your penis, or your manliness.
This article won’t obsess over the symptoms because you shouldn’t either. If you’re having trouble with erections, you know it, and obsessing over symptoms by using Dr. Google as a replacement for real help is part of the problem.
What you need is a step-by-step plan of how to break this cycle. Now that you know that it’s not your fault and that you can get your mojo back, follow these tips to overcome your anxiety and bring your erections back (with a vengeance).
Breaking the Cycle of Anxiety: A Three-Step Guide
Before we get into the steps, understand that you can’t fix hard-wired anxiety instantly. If you’ve been having this trouble for years, it may take a lot of work to get back in the saddle, so to speak. And if it’s only happened once and you’re worried that it could become a pattern, you can still use this advice. Just realize that everyone has bad sexual experiences sometimes. Both men and women experience anxiety, lose the mood, can’t orgasm, or can’t satisfy their partner all the time.
In either case, the culprit is likely our obsession with self-monitoring our performance and being critical of ourselves. This leads to anxiety, which leads to ED. Instead of monitoring yourself, you should be focused on the moment. Instead of being locked in the thoughts in your head, you should be feeling the sensations of your body. This is what you have to do to break the cycle.
Step 1: Change your attitude
It’s hard to break a mental cycle without realizing that you need to shift the way you think about the problem first. Cognitive-behavioral therapy offers pretty good advice on how to do this. Here’s a simplified version of it.
First, tell yourself the belief that is causing your problem. Maybe it’s something like, “I’m worried that she’ll leave me if I can’t have better sex.” Or, “I’m worried I’ll ejaculate too soon and we won’t enjoy sex.” Then, write down an alternative that’s way better. It could be something like, “We can enjoy being sexual together no matter what happens with my penis.” Or, “I know she loves me, no matter what happens in bed.”
Do this often: identify your anxiety and write down alternatives. What you’re doing is reinforcing the alternative and making the anxiety seem less inevitable. This will give you more mental room to accept the possibility that everything’s okay.
Step 2: Masturbate better
For many men that experience performance anxiety, masturbation is the only time they enjoy their erections and have orgasms. Masturbating better can actually help you defeat the anxiety.
First, you need to be mindful. This means that you should focus on the sensations of your body, the relaxation and movement of muscles, and imagine being sexual with a partner without obsessing over any other thoughts. Spend a lot of time pleasuring yourself without rushing or thinking that you “have” to climax. Enjoy the affection you can have for yourself when you don’t care what happens.
If you do this regularly, you can improve your performance anxiety. You can demystify your pleasure, making it easier to attain, and easier to give.
Step 3: Involve your partner
Many men feel that performance anxiety is a solo problem. However, if you have a partner, the chances are that they want to help you and to know what’s going on in your head. Voicing your concerns can help you dispel them. More than that, if they know what’s going on, they’ll know to support you, be uncritical, and help you focus on your pleasure.
Most people want their partners to be happy. Communication can help you recruit the person you love most to your team. Anxiety is way easier to fight together.
The Takeaway for Men
Performance anxiety can feel like a male-only problem and it can also feel very lonely. Neither of these things is true. However, the way our media treats men, often portraying them as responsible for the quality of sex while women stoically judge the results, encourages the culture of performance that leads a lot of men down the cycle of anxiety that, eventually, can cause ED.
The good news is that by acknowledging where anxiety comes from, it becomes way easier to dispel. Being mindful of your pleasure, masturbating with plenty of time and self-attention, and communicating with your partner all make the problem much easier to solve. Performance anxiety is not unsolvable. Like any cycle, it just has to be broken.
