Not being able to get hard before sex is a problem that almost every man will face in his lifetime… and 9 out of 10 times the problem will be psychological, not physical.
If you are facing difficulties getting an erection, and are concerned whether or not your problem may be physical, here’s an easy test — if you get hard in the morning… even if not every day, if you ever wake up with a rock hard erection — than you have no physical issues… It is a mental block keeping you from getting an erection.
No need for ED medication in this case… actually taking ED meds when the problem is mental will usually make the problem worse… better off facing this mental block head on, and learning how to overcome it… then the physical will follow suit.
I received a question today from a young man having problems getting an erection. I receive questions like his on a daily basis, as it is a very common problem.
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Hey David,
The main reason I’m writing to you is because I was experiencing some performance anxiety.
When I was with my ex girlfriend we weren’t able to have sex because of my sexual anxiety for some time but after like the 6th time of trying I got over it and finally had sex with her and from then on sex wasn’t really a problem.
I broke up with her about a year ago and I recently got a new girlfriend who is absolutely gorgeous. I’m 18 by the way and me and my recent gf aren’t even having sex yet and last weekend she reached down my pants while we were making out to jerk me off and my dick wasn’t getting hard. I was kind of embarrassed (especially cause my dick limp is not that big) and so I just told her to let me take care of her today instead to avoid the awkwardness and I just fingered her till she came.
This has been really frustrating me cause I thought this sexual anxiety wouldn’t ever come back since I got over it with my ex gf but it’s starting to come back with my new gf. I’m a very confident person and I definitely know to how to please her and turn her on but this sexual anxiety is really damaging my ego making me think twice about letting her do stuff to me.
I was wondering if you can give me some extra advice on it, maybe some mental techniques, or words of wisdom. I would truly appreciate it David.
Thanks,
-Adam
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My response:
Hey Adam:
I remember the extremely uncomfortable and embarrassing feeling of a girl grabbing my penis “before it was ready” – when it was completely flaccid, and because of this embarrassment over my small flaccid penis size, I never got hard… it was terrible.
Happened more times to me than I’d like to share, actually.
As to the small flaccid size, certain manual exercises can help increase flaccid penis size, which helps remove that embarrassment from the equation at least. Remove the anxiety over your penis being exposed when not erect, and it removes one major mental block to you getting hard.
The manual exercises improve circulation to the shaft as well, helping to reinforce the physical aspect of your erection.
A couple of pointers to remove the mental block for good in your case:
Get to know her… and come clean about your anxiety before sex – say you just want to please her more than anything
In your previous relationship, it took you 6 times to finally overcome the sexual performance anxiety.
As time went on, you got more and more comfortable with the girl, which made it easier to get an erection. And once you overcame it, you were good to go… so the pattern was increased comfort with the girl, better reacting erections.
Try your best to get comfortable with the new girl as well – part of this is about being honest and open. And don’t worry about looking like a pussy… women like vulnerability.
This will take a huge amount of pressure off, and without that pressure your erection will work better.
Take your time and let arousal build
If sexual performance anxiety is causing you to have a mental block before sex, than you want to take it slow rather than rush. Rushing increases anxiety.
No shame in taking it slow… women like slow. Get her super horny, and in the process, you will get yourself horny. Build up arousal to a boiling point, to where your erection will have no choice but to come to life.
Think of how great that orgasm is going to feel
Your girlfriend is there, ready to make you cum. Not to talk, not to eat dinner, not to watch a movie, but to make you ejaculate powerfully and in ecstasy…
When she’s playing with your penis, just let loose, relax, and picture the arousal building up all the way to ejaculation
Really feeling this will bring some life to your penis.
For more on how to overcome sexual performance anxiety before sex and strengthen your erections, see here.
Have a good one, man.
-David Carreras aka Mr. Manpower
Mr. Manpower’s Guide to
Overall Manhood Enhancement
the ultimate sex guide for men… “male potency without drugs”
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